Better End. [#wattys2016]

Finding Myself.

I hug his waist and he turns around.
He embraces me in his inviting arms. He kisses my forehead and takes my hand as we walk.....
It's all a dream now, he is my dream and now it's gone.
I never knew.
You see I overdosed on whatever pills I could find. It got so scary and no matter how many times Jay took my hand, or held me in his arms; the nightmares would rip me piece by piece, until I was a shell of my former self. I found myself yesterday, I heard a scream and crying. I ran to my bedroom and found my mother weeping over my body, cold and lifeless. Even though she was weeping she looked beautiful like life's hands did not touch her and she did not age. Jay ran in behind her; at first he was stunned and tear stricken. Then he screamed.
"This is my fault! I knew she wasn't okay, but not like this, I didn't...." He trailed off. He cried beside me, I wasn't in my mortal body. I ran across the room and through myself around him crying.
"Baby, this isn't your fault. You didn't know. I love you! I love you, never say this was your fault.....
I love you." He laid there beside me, his sobbing stopped and continued as a whimper.
"I loved you, I saw a future with you. And I will always love you." He kissed my forehead, and laid his head on my chest like I used to do to him. He listened, my heartbeat was beating slowly and slower. The ambulance pulled up and a man that looked young, around 20 something; pulled me onto the stretcher and they put an oxygen mask around my face. My mother clenched onto Jay she was hysteric. Although mom was my legal guardian; Jay insisted he go to the hospital so she could watch Paige and Adam. I had a heartbeat so I wasn't declared dead yet. Jay kept holding my hand, it was our symbol he once told me. You hold onto your parents hand so your safe, so you can't get lost. It was similar, he held my hand to ensure I was okay; to show me I was loved. That was the thing. Jay didn't force me to be lustful; he showed me that in a relationship you don't need lust you build and grow together. I jolted out of my memory's. Jay whispered something.
"Sweetheart, I'm completely and utterly in love with you. I don't want to spend a precious moment of this life without you..." A tear rolled down his cheek. "Please stay baby." "Find yourself, I know your here somewhere; your hearts beating, so come back."
"God gave me you and, I want to love and protect you." His voice became low, almost to the point it wasn't audible.
"Stay with me" he whispers.