Chapter Nine

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There's something about having your heart broken that somehow makes you stronger.

You build yourself back up and you learn from it. You lie awake at night and process it over and over until you feel numb, and that's how it is for a long time. The numbness never really goes away, but at least it's better than the never-ending ache of being abandoned for the umpteenth time in your lifetime. At the very least, you learn to be stronger.

As surprising as it is, Alison doesn't lose hope. It's a train of thought she has to stifle most days for the first few weeks, but she pushes through like she did back when she was moved between foster homes - when she dropped out of high school without any hope of going further in her life, but found something to grasp onto anyway.

She doesn't lose hope, because she's worked too hard to have it all destroyed.

The days go by in a blur, like watching a movie in fast forward mode. Despite the constant drawbacks, Alison continues attending all of her classes. That includes Elements of Debate.

There's a new instructor in her debate class - a male this time. His name is Sydney and he's much more laid back than Emily ever was, not to mention less of a distraction now that Alison's eyes don't have to stray towards tight jeans or pencil skirts anymore. All in all, she ends up turning in her final paper on time. It's a feat Emily might've actually been proud of if she were still there.

She finds herself visiting the mansion more than once. More often than not, she walks by on her way to her Criminal Justice class, because the neighborhood cuts through the next bus stop and Alison can't help herself. She might as well be a masochist.

She drops by one Thursday evening for the last time.

It's soon after paying Ben a visit at the shop. She still has a few payments left to go on her car, more than she can technically afford through the summer if she plans on hanging around campus for her last four credits. But Alison's nothing if she's not stubborn.

"Hey, Ben," Alison greets the man as he's working. "How much do I owe you this week?"

Wiping his hands on a towel, he shrugs and motions to the yellow car, where it's sitting in the car lot in its usual spot.

"Nothing."

Alison's face screws up in confusion. "What?"

"It's been paid for," he explains. "Some lady called in yesterday morning, a Ms. Fields. Had the order number and everything."

"And you just... let her?" Alison's stomach lurches, her heart pounding furiously in her chest.

Ben shrugs again. "Hey, money's money. I assumed she was your aunt or something. Now do you want your car or not?"

Of course Alison wants the car, but at the expense of whatever trick Emily's trying to pull - well, she can't say she's happy about it.

If anything Alison's angry.

She drives to the mansion with her newly repaired bug, and instead of slipping in through the window like she's done many times before, she knocks on the door. She bangs on it until her knuckles are sore and the sun is down and she's left seething on the porch.

"Whatever it is you're playing, stop it," Alison grits out at the door. "If you think you can buy my forgiveness, then you have another thing coming. Just get the fuck out of my head."

She knows Emily isn't there, hasn't been for the three weeks she's been gone. But Alison wills the door to open anyway, hopes for it, in fact. Because she's sad and angry and she misses Emily too much to care that she also hates her.

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