Losing Her Wings

Chapter 41

Skylar had been at the fundraiser for a little over an hour when she walked out of the side room and back into the main fundraising hall to find Pepper. She stood there for barely five minutes, finding out about the gossip she wanted to share that was so important she had sent Niles to find her, when she saw Ryan walking out of the side room and leaving the gallery without even a look back into the hallway. She knew why he’d gone and she knew exactly what she’d done and how irreparable it was to their friendship. She tried to keep the tears at bay while Pepper was talking but it was no good. A few minutes later, she excused herself and disappeared to the bathroom to cry it out, only to bump into Mara. She was so sweet and understanding that whilst they had the privacy to talk openly about it, she confessed everything she possibly could. Her feelings for Ryan, his feelings for her and how they so often found themselves unable to control it or hide it. It wasn’t hard to tell her, she was so understanding about it all that she even admitted she had known for a while that something was going on between them. “Athena figured it out after you started volunteering at the hospital. She asked Miles to talk to Ryan about it, he told him everything he felt and then Miles told Fraser. And he obviously told me.” Mara explained it so simply that all Skylar could do was laugh at the inevitability of it all. People were bound to find out and she didn’t blame Ryan for telling Miles about it, he had probably already told Fraser most of it during their talks about Mara anyway. Eventually she would have to face facts and when she was told to do that, just then, she could only smile and nod along in agreement. “He’s really confused Skylar. You love him, we can all see it…have you ever told him that?” She wondered, not surprise at the silent answer she got, a simple shake of the head and a guilty look. She could only tell her so much, about what to do and what to feel, about how Ryan felt and she knew that Skylar knew well enough to know that if she didn’t tell him the truth some time soon about how she really felt, she would lose him forever.

“I think it’s too late for that. He’s gone…he just walked out…just like I did. I think it’s over.” She cried again, trying her hardest not to let them break through but it was impossible, they were too strong and she had too many reasons to cry. Mara convinced her to have faith and keep hope that after some time apart, to let him think, he would come back to her and admit that he couldn’t ever walk away. But it didn’t make her feel any better. Half of her wanted him to walk away and never look back, the other half had her in tears, her heart pounding, her hands shaking all in a true, physical pain from not being able to be with him and tell him the entire truth of her life as she wanted to. Whatever she did, she would have to pick up some of her pride from the floor and build up her emotional strength because right then, she was a walking wreck. The slightest look from him and she would break down and she had to be stronger than that for both their sakes. If she was going to risk being with him, it had to be done right, not rushed into, it had to be planned out and thought through properly or else it would just be one big, drawn out disaster.

*****

Mara’s night was going much better than Skylar’s was. She had left her in the bathroom to freshen herself up, making her promise not to go home early in the hope that she could cheer her up before she ended up going home and wallowing in self pity about it all. The fact that Pepper had invited Niles in order to ‘be with her’ only made the matters worse, since he was lingering outside the girls bathroom when she escaped, having to send him off with some harsh words of warning to ensure that Skylar could come out of hiding without being confronted by Niles and his flirtations. As soon as that was taken care of, she returned to her wonderful boyfriend’s side and hope that the night would get better soon. She explained what she could about Skylar and Ryan’s complicated relationship without going against the promises she had made her friend, explaining how upset she was and how he had left the party in anger, how she hoped they could be together because they were so good together and she just knew, in her heart that they were soul mates. “You know, their relationship’s been really good for you. It’s given you something else to focus on.” Fraser noticed with a happy smile, glad that she had something nice to take her mind off things, particularly since things weren’t getting any easier on her lately. She had been so happy all night, talking and sticking close to him and her father, enjoying her first night out of the house in months, having been so adamant that she was going they nearly ended up in the middle of a full scale battle with each other. She’d had to sit down for ten minutes after getting ready, breathing deeply and calming herself down before they could tackle leaving the house and getting into the car. Even then she had disappeared off to the women’s bathrooms three times to get some peace and fresh air, to be in a quiet area where she could get a cooling, cold drink and get herself together again. He was allowed to worry about her.