Stuck (Zayn Malik)

Thinking

Zayn's POV

What the fuck did I just do? I put my mind on autopilot for ten minutes and ended up crashing the plane. Great job Zayn. How about next time you take over and tell your ego to keep quiet? I can't believe I did that and Jemma had to be there the entire time of course. I am so lucky, aren't I?

"Zayn what did you do?" Louis asks once I enter the break room.

"I'll give you one guess." I say and he shakes his head.

"You went to find Perrie and talk to her, didn't you?" He asks and I nod.

"C'mon!" He shouts and I nod.

"Yeah, I know." I say stiffly and sit on the couch.

"You better hope Jem is willing to let you make it up to her." He says and I sigh.

"I can't." I say and they all look up at me confused.

"She won't let me. I don't want her to let me, either. I don't deserve for her to forgive me." I say.

"You've done a lot for her, to hurt and make her better, but I think she'll give you at least a minute to talk." Harry says and I shrug.

"I feel like such a loser." I say.

"You are." Niall and Liam say and I huff.

"Thanks guys." I say sarcastically.

"Well, what do you expect us to do? We all love Jem and don't want to see you fuck up." Louis says.

"Guys, it's time for the interview." Paul walks in and we follow him down the hall and up the elevator.

"So," The brunette woman named Delia starts once we get in, "Take a seat on the chairs. There are a lot of you huh?"

"You can say that again." Louis jokes and she laughs at him.

"Are you ready?" She asks after a minute of flicking switches and positioning microphones.

"Yeah." We chorus. I couldn't care less about being here right now, though.

"Alright! I'm in the studio with the fabulous British boy band that got their start on the Xfactor. That's right! Radio 106.8 has One Direction on the air! So, send in your questions for later on. I get to start my interview right now with the lovely Brits." She says excitedly.

"So, who is single?" She asks and for the first time ever none of us raise our hands or say anything.

"Well, it seems every boy is taken now. Wow! Zayn, I thought you were single still?" She asks.

"Uh-no, I'm not. I have someone." I say and she grins.

"Who? Was it one of the girls that walked in with you this morning?" She asks.

"Yes..." I answer.

"I thought that girl was the one who was with Lou Teasdale!" She says excitedly. Why is this so surprising?

"She is." I respond.

"You sound kind of down today." She says and I nod.

"I did something stupid this morning and I'm thinking about it." I say.

"Anything you want to talk about while you're here?" She asks and I laugh meanly at her.

"No." I respond a few seconds later.

"Alright. Back to other news..." I shut her out. I stay out of it until Louis elbows me to get up when the interview is over.

"And in a few minutes, I'll give you Little Mix!" Delia says as we leave the room. Out in the corridor, are the girls of Little Mix. I sigh and keep walking. They all look at me, but I pretend not to notice.

"Zayn. Can I talk to you for just one minute?" Perrie says and I freeze. I force myself to turn and she's on the other side of the room.

"No." I respond and keep walking.

"Fine then I'll yell it out." She says and I freeze again.

"Go fight for that girl! She obviously digs you." She says and I smile.

"I will." I say without turning around and keep walking. Who thought my ex girlfriend would be helping me get my new one?

*

We get back to the bus around 1pm after getting some food. The girls still aren't back yet, but that's a good thing. It means I have time to plan. What am I going to do? What am I going to say to her? I sit on the couch and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry I..." I trail off. Wow. What am I going to say to her?

"I'm sorry I..." I repeat my first line.

Well, I'm going to do what I do best. Mess things up. I'm going to make it worse. There is one thing, but...no. No she wouldn't like that and I'd be mortified. I know it's no good. Well, she might like it. No. No she wouldn't. It can't make things any worse.

My mind spins until I find myself the right answer. I'm going to do it. I breathe a sigh of relief. I get up off the couch and begin my...mission? Yeah I guess you can call it that. I needed to start, though. I needed to start now.