Star Wars A New Hope Abridged.

Star Wars a New Hope Abridged Part 2

Darth Vader- *chocking a rebel soldier* ALRIGHT REBEL UHH UHM..
Stormtrooper #2- Scum?
Darth Vader- Oh thanks, REBEL SCUM! YOU CAN TELL US WHERE YOU HID THOSE PLANS OR YOU'LL-
Rebel Soldier- Die?~ Yes please your hand smells and it's RRREAALLY bothering me right now~ damn you got some hands and~ *dies from being choked*
Stormtrooper #39- Ooohhh I see! He said that stuff to piss you off so you'd kill him faster! And now you'll probably never know where the secret plans are a- *gets stabbed by Vaders Lightsaber*
Darth Vader- OH SORRY I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER HOW TO TURN THIS THING ON.
Stormtrooper #13- Did you remember? *gets his head sliced off*
Darth Vader- Yes I did. Ok everyone look, search this whole ship sorry what I did there I'll get you all space donuts later Kay? *MEANWHILE PRINCESS LIEA IS STILL ON BOARD*
Princess Liea- *peeks from her hiding place* Oh geez they're here, I can tell because they smell like sweat.
Stormtrooper #14- Hey that's probably her right there!
Princess Liea- Crap baskets! *makes a run for it then gets shot by the paralysis gun*
Stormtrooper #60- Yo nice shot there
Princess Liea- Yeah nice shot there -_- *The stormtroopers bring Liea to Darth Vader*
Princess Liea- Darth Vader, my god you are one tall bastard! Geez!
Darth Vader- Yeah I gotta get new suit every year because my old ones get too small for me, ANYWAYS HELLO MY CHILD, would you for any chance have those secret Death Star plans? Kinda need them because that space station is pretty cool, yeah..hey so I need those thank you very much.
Imperial Man #3- Sir, an escape pod was launched not too long ago, but there were no life forms in it, probably Jeff pressing the buttons again.
Darth Vader- OOORRRR, my kid here hid the secrets in there huh!? Could you get some troops to go down there and check it out? I'll send em space donuts too! And you my child, you are coming with me!
Princess Liea- Wait what! Ew you sicko!
Darth Vader- WAIT WHAT NO NOT LIKE THAT! I CAN'T EVEN-
Princess Liea- HAHAHAHAHAHA! If only I could see the look on your face!
Darth Vader- TAKE HER AWAY! Kids these days and their jokes..
*MEANWHILE AT TATOOINE*
C-3PO- Oh my goodness! What..what..where are we? My goodness this sand is hot!
Rebel Soldier #1- Hey so if you don't need us we'll go this way..
Rebel Soldier #2- Yeah good luck you too! *both run away*
C-3Po- Oh pooey them! At least you're not doing anything stupid and- *sees R2 going to a different direction* Hey where do you think you're going? ....Obi-Wan Kenobi!? That guy is here? No way last thing I remember of him is when we saw those two kids being born and Master Anakin's wife died,...how did we even end up like this?...we could've been doing our own stuff but I guess we really are that important, I wonder what happened to those kids and- *sees R2 leaving C-3po to go find Obi-Wan* OH OH OK! FINE! YOU GO DO THAT! I'LL JUST GO THIS WAY AND HOPEFULLY FIND A QUICK TRIP OR A SEVEN ELEVEN KAY BYE! *2 hours later*
C-3PO- Geez that stupid droid..I will be honest I hope Obi-Wan is actually here, would be nice to see an old face..except for Jar Jar, oh space Christ hope I never see that mutant frog ever and- *sees a Sandcrawler from the distance* OH YES! FINALLY! *waves his arms in the air* HEEYYY! OVER HERE! HEEELLLLP!
*8 hours later in the Sandcrawler*
C-3PO- *...wakes up..* WHA? Oh crap baskets it wasn't a dream..wait a sec droids can't dream *sees R2* R2-D2 you're here! *the Sandcrawler stops*
C-3PO- Oh crap baskets..what's gonna happen to us!? *all the droids step outside for sale, C-3PO and R2-D2 were sold to an old man and a young boy, the boy walks up to the two droids*
Luke Skywalker- Hello! Boy you guys look dirty! Lemme clean you two up!