"I don't know you."
This is not what I expected from him. After two years of being together? Ano yun? Lokohan?
"Fuck off."
At dinaanan niya lang ako na parang hangin. It was as if we never had a relationship, or having a relationship either because as far as I can remember, he just freaking move to Australia without having any formal break-up with me but then, why would he brag about ending our relationship?. All along, I was expecting that we're really in good terms. Wala kaming pinag-awayan. We even had our on and off face-time. So what's with all these things?
"Why are you doing this?"
Hell. I don't want to burst-out with these frigging tears. Not in front of him.
"Okay naman tayo, diba?" He stopped for a moment but he chose not to face me, either. You know this certain feeling na parang ang lapit namin sa isa't isa but still bounded by a very huge wall?
"You even called me last night before going back here. We never even had any arguments these past few weeks. I tried harder not to get fumed when you missed my calls, or didn't respond to my messages. So...so ...why— why..." Napayuko na lang ako as my tears are continuously streaming down my face. Shit! "Why the hell are you doing this to me, Bryan?" I feel weak. So weak na parang hangin na lang yung lumalabas sa bibig ko.
Even with my head bowed down, I'm still able to see him turning and now, he's finally facing me. I grabbed the chance to look at him immediately midst of having this worn face. Natatakot man ako, pero mas natatakot akong this might be the last time na makikita ko siya ng malapitan. I might seem frail, but I'm not insensitive. Alam kong may nagbago.
His eyes are as dim as a nightmare. His brows are furrowed. It was as if my heartfelt statement never did interest him.
"You got me bored."
As if on cue, binuhos ko ang lahat ng lakas ko and I slapped him hard. Napatunganga siya for a split second but his face says nothing. It's blank as hell!
"Ang kapal ng mukha mo!" Sigaw ko habang umiiyak. Ang sakit! Bakit ganito?
"Ikaw pa yung na-bore? Ikaw na nagpakasasa sa lamig ng Australia! Ako ang naiwan dito, Bryan! Ako yung mamatay-matay kaiisip kung ano yung ginagawa mo sa bawat segundo? Kung ano yung tumatakbo sa isip mo habang ako, nandito, naghihintay sa'yo tapos sasabihin mo sa'king..." Dire-diretso na yung luha ko sa pagpatak. Nanlalabo na yung mata ko pero sinisikap kong tingnan yung mga mata niya. I was hoping that he is feeling the same level of frustration that I am enduring right now! "I...I got you bo...bored?!" Mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya at pinaghahampas ko siya sa dibdib. He's not moving. He's not even avoiding my hands from knocking him off.
Marami nang mata ang nakatingin sa'min pero hindi tumitinag yung mga mata ko sa pag-iyak.
"Asshole! Douchebag! Demon! Napaka...." Napahagulgol na ako at unti-unti, nararamdaman kong nanghihina na rin ako. I feel like breaking-down.
"Napakasama mo! Ang sama-sama mo! Ano bang ginawa ko sa'yo?"
Napaupo na ko habang yung ulo ko ay nakasubsob sa aking mga tuhod. Wala na kong lakas pa para suntukin siya at saktan siya. It's just his physical that's hurting. But mine? It's the whole package. I am completely damaged.
