I Love You But I Can't Breathe

Chapter Fourteen

If Harry didn't have a steady flow of oxygen coming in through the tubes he might have stopped breathing right then and there. 

"You're a medical anomaly," she explained quietly, clearing her throat as she avoided eye contact with Harry, who was clutching onto the bed sheets like a lifeline. "Normally, I would give you a diagnosis, but I can't, so I'll just tell you your symptoms and what we're projecting will happen next and give you a few treatment options- does that sound alright?" 

"Why didn't... why didn't anyone call me?" Harry choked out, his mind reeling. 

"Nothing came through on any of your test results," the doctor said. "I was set up for a meeting in a few days on how to handle your case but you ended up here early. We didn't think anything would progress this quickly." 

Your case. Harry was a case now, not just a patient. 

"I can give you a minute to process this, or I can continue?" she offered. 

"I, I want to know," Harry said. "I want to know what's wrong with me." 

Dr. Ambleside nodded before continuing. "Your lungs are essentially becoming stiff and losing the moisture that they need to expand properly, which gives them the feeling of shrinking slowly, although of course the actual size of your lungs isn't changing. It's getting more difficult for you to take in air. Based on what we saw of your legs today, we suspect some sort of nerve damage, although we're not sure how a rash would be involved in that. Obviously since the leg symptoms are so recent, it'll take time to see if there's a connection between the two."

"So is it... is it bad?" Harry managed. 

"Harry," she said, squeezing his arm gently. "I promise we'll do the best we can with treatment, and if we find something that works, it looks fairly promising for a recovery or at least remission. But," she said slowly. "I was wondering if you'd like to be put on the organ donor list? It's a fairly long wait, so it might be best to put you on it now just in case. If we get things sorted, we can obviously take your name off the list." 

"Wait, like, to get new lungs?" Harry clarified. "It's not that bad though is it?" 

"We're probably just being overcautious," she reassured. "We haven't seen this before so we're just bracing ourselves for the worst case scenario." 

"But I'll be okay, right?" 

"Right now you just need to worry about your oxygen tank, and we'll set you up with physical therapy sessions for your legs, alright? We will need to do some tests on your legs and possibly some brain scans- I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but we need to be able to treat you properly. We'll just get you set up in the next room when you're ready and help you learn how to use everything."

Harry nodded and let himself be helped out of the hospital bed. After a few weeks of pretending he was feeling fine, there was something freeing about letting someone help him, admitting that maybe things weren't okay right now.

* * * * * 

It was a few hours later when Harry finally ambled into the waiting room, a nurse trailing behind him to make sure he didn't fall over on his crutches. His legs were still more than a bit wobbly and they'd decided it would be best not to put his full weight on them until they felt more stable. He was starting his physical therapy sessions soon and then they'd decide the best way for him to get around- but until then it would be crutches. 

Harry could feel Liam, Niall, and Louis' eyes on him from the moment he stepped through the waiting room door. 

"I'm not a zoo exhibit," Harry mumbled, trying to huff indignantly while wheeling an oxygen tank and maneuvering on crutches.  

Niall practically launched himself at the younger boy, kissing him on the cheek and burying his nose into Harry's curls, arms wrapped tight around Harry despite the awkward angle of the crutches.

Liam came over and patted him on the back, before ruffling his hair fondly, surrounding him with warmth and comfort in the way Liam somehow always managed to. 

Louis looked up from the waiting room chair, flicking his fringe out of his eyes. He gave Harry a tentative smile, and a thumbs up. It must have looked meaningless to anyone else, but when they put their two thumbs up together, it signed 'sweethearts' in sign language. 

Harry lifted his thumb up and his strawberry lips tipped up in a smile before allowing the boys to help him into Liam's van.  

AN: how is everyone? :) I just had the weirdest night in the club last night, this is why I never go out :P anyway, I promise the next chapter will be less sad, I kind of had to get his hospital visit out of the way to continue on with the story.