Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is life

The Swamp.

  Brendan was slightly frightened. 

  He was somewhere...somewhere familiar. There was no context, no nothing, his mind strained to remember anything that had been happening before this situation. Gosh, nothing. Everything was dark. Only the squishy texture of something he was laying in. He got up swiftly, the substance of whatever it was seeping out of his shirt. "Shit" Brendan muttered. He got up now, legs feeling numb and weak. The boy missed his girlfriend, even his annoying cat. His palm waved around, feeling a rough surface. His hands followed along it, some sort of... wall? 

  "It's like a freaking labyrinth in here." Brendan says to himself, trying to keep his sanity at where it was. He felt like it was hours before...yes. The cold air of night met his face, he was out. "That was a cave? Weird." He then glanced down at his sneakers. Covered in mud, along with his shirt and jeans. Bren was in a swamp. The certain location felt familiar, his memories fluctuating like a match attempting to set itself on fire. Then. Oh, then Brendan saw it. Oh and did he see it. The outhouse. The match was definitely on fire now, flaming hot, setting fire to everything in sight. The cattails wavered in a gust of wind. This, indeed.

  Was Shrek's swamp.

   Panicking, Brendan looked around. The mud seemed to cling to his feet. He was frozen stiff with fear, oh the chanting. The chanting never stopped, it echoed within the catacombs of his mind. He remembers now, he remembers like the back of his hand. "Somebody once told me" The voice in his mind sang. "The world was gonna roll me" Brendan clutched his hair, holding it within the spaces between his fingertips. "This is all a dream. Haha! A silly, fucked up dream!" He laughed to himself hysterically. "I'm gonna wake up soon, and read another smut fanfic about Sonic. Then post it on the internet. This isn't Shrek's swamp! I'm dreaming! I have to be dreaming!" Shrek's house was silent. Everything was, the eerie tinge of crickets remained as Brendan's fit of hysterical chuckling ended. He shuddered. 

  High school. This was gonna be just like high school. When Shrek used to bully the shit out of him. God, he didn't want that. Brendan was not going through that hell again.

  Suddenly the silence broke. Shrek's door broke open, revealing the chartreuse ogre himself. Blaring the song "All Star by Smash Mouth" Shrek charged right at him, he didn't even move. Shrek seemed to be hovering, but no time for that. Brendan shrieked. "HOLY SHIT" He kicked up the mud underneath him as he ran, screaming for his life. "What is even happening?!" He asked himself once more, running out of the swamp's channel and away from the cave. What is this shit? What was life? Where was life?! Steve Harwell's voice was in Brendan's ears now. It grew more power every time Shrek got closer, throbbing against his eardrum. No wind whipping past his ear, no sound of his own intense panting, nothing. Just the song beating harshly among him "HEY NOW YOU'RE AN ALL STAR" Brendan bit his lip, he wanted to end this.

  Years of being a professional shitposter. Years of doing nothing with his life, except for seeing how much people would watch him go through the torture of reading fanfictions. Years of living under the intense fear of Shrek. No. Not this time. Shrek could kill him if he wanted to, just end this. Brendan stopped in his tracks, standing completely still. Just waiting for Shrek to come among him and take his life... wait. What? The song stopped. Shrek stopped. He was just, standing there. The green ogre's gaze was right into Brendan's eyes. They seemed to shimmer and glow for a moment. "Hi" Spoke Shrek awkwardly, almost silent enough to be a whisper. 

  That voice, so eloquent.

  What was it that made Shrek seem so friendly now?

  "Hi." Brendan said back, scratching his ear. "Remember me?" Shrek chuckled. "From high school?" Bren nodded shyly. "Sure is windy tonight...kind of cold." The ogre added, looking around. "Maybe we can head back to my place. I've got a fire in my living room. It's, ahem. Nice and warm" He smiled, "How?" Brendan thought to himself. "How was he so nice?" Was this some sort of sick trap concocted by his weird subscribers? Or was it payback by his girlfriend for that one time he made her cry because of that fanfiction? No...It couldn't be. All that time...of slamming Brendan into lockers, calling him names like "Donkey" from across the lunch table. Was Shrek nice?