City of blame

Creative essay

City of blame

The taste of whiskey tainted my lips as I gulped down my 2nd bottle of whiskey. I was sat on a armchair facing away from the tv which was behind me. The tv was on standby which made the room darker than it should be, the eerie silence was in somewhat peaceful. In front of me was a door; this door wasn't like any other typical door, and the only reason I stared at it so blatantly was what happen behind the door.

A woman's face once beautiful was now covered in blood. This image was stuck in my mind. The face of my wife. Suddenly the door knocked, I didn't want to answer, it was probably the police with more questions about my wife's death. I shut my eyes, wanting to see her beautiful face once more . But i couldn't. Blood. Her wrist all cut open. The bottle of pills and alcohol that she took was all shattered and scattered all over the floor, that's all I could see. I could remember when the police arrived, it took hours for the police to leave and I didn't want to sit another few hours as they interrogate me do they honestly think that I killed my wife?! The soft knocking slowly started to turn into banging to then suddenly I heard a voice call out for me "Matt?! Are you in there?" I looked up at the door recognising the voice. It was Zander "yeah just coming calm it Janet" I growled and slowly and steadily got up and fumbling towards the door I opened the door to see Zander, his usual black spiked up hair was now down and I seen curls started to form, his pimpled face and his dark green eyes. He had his sisters eyes. "What do you want?" I asked letting him in "I want to see if you ok, god man I lost my sister and that devastating enough but you lost your wife" he kick the ground looking down as if he was ashamed. Sighing I walked back to the chair moving it round with great difficulty "Matt are you drunk?" He asked his eyes wide with shock

"What are you, my mother" I spat at him, I could tell it hurt I was his idol . Now, his idol was drunk, unshaven and harsh

"Whatever man, look the funeral is tomorrow and auntie Janice said would it ok if I brought Samantha to the funeral, you know to say goodbye" he started to get teary. Heck so did I I could feel a lump in my throat. Clearing it I shook my head "No she can't, no place for a child!" I glared at Zander. What was he thinking?! Samantha is only a child, jeez she just turned 7! Zander teary eyes soon became hard and his jaw clenched "look she gonna have to Matt! You can't just not let her, you have to give a choice!" Zander edged closer to me, his hand gripping the sofa beside him i glanced at his other hand which was shaking.

"Look I know losing a baby and your wife is hard but-"

"Don't you dare talk to me about losing a baby, you don't know the pain!" I stood up and shouted at him, Zander instantly took a step back and look at the door. "Maybe I don't but I sure as hell know how to it feels to lose someone you love!" He shouted back. You could see the anger rise in him like a pot of water with the lid. Sure enough Zander started again "I'm bringing her if she wants to go and you can't stop me!" Right then did something snap inside me.

"You should leave"

"No I ain't leaving until this is sorted out!"

I walked over to Zander and grabbed him round the scruff of his neck and started to drag him outside, before I could react Zander swung his fist round and he smacked me across the face, just missing my nose. In pain I let go of Zander to cover where he had punched me, "you're a asshole, you know that Matt I wondered why Samantha rather stay at mines all the time, your a drunk and a mean one at that! You stopping her seeing her own mother funeral!" Zander glared at me with angry but that could not hide the tears that was running down his face. Before I could say a word he turned on the spot and ran off.

"Stupid kid" I muttered as I closed the door. Once the door was shut I kneeled down and my stomach retched, tears stung my eyes as I started to cry. I was going to lose Samantha now I know it! I couldn't lose her! I just couldn't, wiping my mouth I stood and started to walk toward the bathroom. What if I do? Would she be ok? Or will it be better if she wasn't here? No matter I was going to fight for her! I reached the bathroom and went to wash my face suddenly a thought crossed my mind "what if I was stopped her from having a good life, I couldn't give up on her but If I did she would hate me! Suddenly inside me went hard and heartless. Yes she would. I couldn't do that to my girl. I looked at the bathtub. Would it be easy?

I spun round and walked into my room quickly. I didn't want to end up... I rummaging in my drawers, almost immediately did my hand hit some cold and metallic I pulled it out to see a revolver. Placing it in my pocket I walked back into the living and found a piece of paper and pen and i wrote:

Who ever reads this I have done my deed. My body is in the bathroom.

Tell my girl that she has to be strong for mummy and daddy maybe

one day she can forgive me

Love Matthew cooper

And with that there was a bang.