Twist And Shout

chapter 13: Epilogue

"Yeah, yeah." He smiled weakly and rubbed at his eyes. "Let's go."

They got into Sam's car, and Dean sat in the backseat with Abigail. He tickled her toes and she squealed, kicking her feet at him. He laughed softly and stroked his hand over her head, her thin hair tickling his palm, and she cooed, yawning and closing her eyes, leaning back in the car seat. Dean smiled and shifted, turning to look out of the window. Sam and Jess' neighborhood was nice, full of large, beautiful houses. Cas would've loved them; he always enjoyed houses that looked vintage.

He patted his pocket and the inside made a soft crumpling sound beneath his touch. He pushed his hand into his pocket to fish it out, and when he pulled it out, he unfolded it, smoothing it against thigh. It was an old photo that he had managed to find in his stuff. He didn't remember taking it when he left, but for some reason, he felt the need to keep when he did find it. The date on the back said it was from 1969, the year that Dean was drafted and shipped out. It was a photo of him before Dean's birthday was called on the television.

It was a lazy , and Cas had gotten new film for his camera. Dean had bought it for him the previous day, surprising him with it. He was always so excited when he got new film for his camera, because he loved taking pictures of everything. It made him so happy, made him smile so wide, and Dean loved when he was able to make Cas smile. It was hot, all the in the apartment were open, and neither of them were wearing shirts. Cas' hair stuck to his forehead, and Dean smoothed it away every chance he got. Cas would laugh and pull away for a moment before moving back in peck Dean's lips.

They stayed in the apartment that day, and some point in the haze, Cas had snapped a photo of Dean, laughing and being happy. He hadn't had any idea that Cas had taken until he heard the camera whirr and spit the picture out, but it was a picture that he actually liked. Cas immediately wrote the year on the back of it, and after Dean was drafted, he had told Cas to keep it with him, always. To look at it every chance that he got.

He smoothed his thumbs over the edge of the photo, looking down at a much younger version of himself. The version of himself that was in love and much more happier, because he was able to wake up every morning with Cas beside him. He was able to kiss him anytime that he wanted in the comfort of their home; eat together and watch television together. Laugh together. He swallowed thickly and folded he photo back up, pushing it into his pocket.

...and there, right there beside me, that was you...

Sam and Jess didn't say much as they drove to the cemetery. He could see Jess nervously smoothing her hands over the front of her dress, looking in the rearview mirror at him every chance that she got. He caught her eyes once, smiling softly, and she smiled back, turning her attention away to mess with the radio, changing the station until she found a song that she liked. Dean clenched his fists and then unclenched them, smoothing his palms along his thighs, the material of his slacks coarse beneath his touch. He looked back out of the window, and he could hear Abigail stir in the car seat beside him. He turned and looked down at her, and she smiled up at him, stretching her arms up.

He touched her hand and she curled her tiny fingers around his index finger, kicking her feet.

"You look just like your mama," he whispered, to her and she blinked. The car came to a halt and he looked out of the window. There were a few cars parked near the cemetery, and he could see a small mass of people near a casket in the distance. He closed his eyes for a moment, paralyzed by the emotions welling in him. It was happening. He was actually there. They were actually burying Cas today.

He hadn't realized that Sam and Jess had gotten out of the car until the back door opened and Sam reached in. He jumped and opened his eyes, and Sam smiled at him as he helped Abigail out of her car seat. He smiled back, even if it was a little shaky, and opened the door, stepping out and walking to the other side of the car.