Broken Worlds

Apart

Dang!!!
It's so stupid how everything goes fine for one half and gets more complicated than a blind guy watching a silent movie.

How did we go from being the best thing to insulting each other pettily and saying shit we don't mean.
I knew it was going to happen at some point but I never thought shit would go like this.

Since that Saturday things just started to drift between us.
I've been noticing but I never thought about it.
I didn't think that was even possible because I knew what we had went beyond that.

I try to move your mind from things but you don't even want to move your mind from them.
You prefer to sit and worry bout insignificant shit thinking you're the only one with complications.

I was the one that lost my virginity to you, how the hell do you think my dad will react when he finds out not even mentioning my mom.
You think I don't worry about that every single day?

You think it's not hard on my side? You think I wanna sit on my ass and watch us drift apart or shift apart? It's almost like you want the fucking breakup but you're thinking you don't want to hurt me.

Well look the fuck around you cause that's exactly what you're doing. I'm fucking emotionally unstable or bipolar if you wanna call it that.
Do you think I like snapping at you? Do you think I do it for fun? What the fuck is wrong with you Jefferson.

I try my best to control myself around people, but with you I feel like I don't even have to try to be anything. You said you loved me for who I am whether the fuck I'm bipolar or emotionally fragile.

But now you're using my weakness against me.
Telling me you wish you could be me for a day to see how much trouble I give you. But guess what, you wouldn't stand two hours of it.

I'm not like you Jeff, I'm not built like you. If you think you can be me and go through what I go through everyday then you're one heck of a strong person

That's what I try to be Jeff a fucking strong person. A person that has to face her fears without thinking bout the what ifs. A person that has to learn about the values of her life.

A person that has to accept herself for who she is. A person that has to know that people won't be by her side every time she cries or whimpers. A person that tries to understand things from two point of views.

A person that has to strive to be on the good side of people. A person that has to put aside her insecurities and deal with the real issues of life.

A person that has to accept herself for who she is. A person that has to hold her head up high and not let the words of people break her down, a person that has to keep it in her head that everything will be OK even if she knows that it won't.

Now not only do I have to worry about myself, but also my fucking relationship that's going down the drain. Knowing its the worse that could happen right now.

With you that's where my piece of mind, my other half, my solace, my comfort, my joy and my heart is and I'm not yet ready to let all that go, you may be but I'm not.

I mean haven't you noticed the changes. At first you used to look at me and have me shy, you used to touch me and have me surrender, you used to kiss me and have me melt right into your hands.

But right now I don't even feel shit!!!
You do those things these days like its a duty that you're tired of, there's no emotions even in our kisses, talks, or touches.

I remember how flirty you used to be Jeff.
You always used to steal kisses and said awkward but sweet things that turned me on. You used to like laying your head on my breasts and nuzzling my neck. But right now it seems as if we're strangers.

My distractions hardly work on you, and now you're accusing me of being the one letting us split.
You don't give a fuck anymore and last night when I didn't want to lose hope you told me to go right ahead.

I don't know how to say this but I feel like you are the fuck boy that you denied yourself of being, and as it is we might be somewhere I never thought we'd be. "APART".

This one is dedicated to all my special people out there that's passed through this.
Its hard, it really is and I'm still stuck on him.
I wrote this like three months ago but he was my first everything.
I hope you like it though its really emotional.
And please bear patience with the grammatical errors I know I suck at punctuations.
Much love to y'all
♥❤ and 💋💋
Don't forget to vote and comment see you next time.