Confessions Of An Attention Seeker

Waking up

I awake. I don't know why, but every night I think if I were to die in my sleep and not wake up, I wouldn't mind. It would be peaceful at least.
I get up and go straight to the bathroom because I'm busting, when I'm done I stand infront of the large mirror, hanging firmly on the wall above my purple sink, and stare. My chestnut hair flowing over my shoulders in nice, natural waves. Stare at my own hazel eyes with hints of green in them. My just a bit bigger then average nose, plump lips and nicely shaped eyebrows- not the best in the world but I like them. This is me.
My names Ava Finch, I am 15 years old (almost 16!), and respectfully the girl most people know, even if I don't know them. Which is kinda freaky.
I lift up my shirt (not all the way) and stand side on with the mirror and see what my stomachs like today. It's skinny I guess but no ice cream tonight. Don't get my wrong I looooove food it's just I used to be chubby and it's been a habit since then looking In the mirror, since I lost all the weight...

I get dressed in my depressing school uniform. I slip on my black shorts and pull on the blue polo sport shirt.
Don't have time to straighten hair today, so I put it in a messy bun I have to re-do at least 4 times, but on my worn but still classy black leather converse's, grab my bag and head out the door to the bus stop. I don't bother saying goodbye to my parents the less talking I have to do with them the better.
I'm at the dodgy old bus stop down the road, it's roof sags down and the metal is rusted but hey, at least it's something. The grey sky doesn't help my mood much, I see my younger brother slowly walk up the hill to the bus stop wearing his new Nike jumper dad bought him.
Shit, I'm suddenly hit by a gush of coldness that runs up my spine. I forgot my bloody jumper, and I've got work this afternoon! Shiiiiiit. It's gonna be a cold one with the dark clouds starting to form together to make an angry storm.
I hear a grounding sound  and The very very old and quite sad bus comes chugging along to pick us up. It brakes lets out a scream and I get on and feel the bus shake slightly, followed by my brother getting on and it shaking slightly again. It's a big bus but like I said it's not the best. All I'm saying is this thing should of been taken to the junk yard a long time ago. I'm not complaining, we only have it twice a week after all since some old grandpa bus driver rents it out and takes all the old people into the city in it.
I sit in one of the seats up the very back and Rey puts the bus in first gear and we slowly lurched forward. I dig into my bad Oh no... Don't tell me now... Wait false alarm, here they are. Thank god! I can't go anywhere without my headphones, it's my escape to another world. A lovely place I have created in my head. One without all the bullshit I go through everyday. I connect my headphones into my phone and slowly sink away for as long as I can, until I reach my destination.
I zone out for most of the bus trip and take little notice to the kids getting on and most of the people from my school, I'm not in a chatty mood today. The bus trip is  30 minutes. 30 minutes of happiness before I arrive, and I'm in my happy place until I notice the bus starting to turn right and we pass a little patch of flowers i always remember as my mark telling me we are almost there, and then I know. Fuck, I've reached my destination.