Stand Inside Your Love // FRERARD (one-shot)

1/1

tw for abuse.
title is the name of a smashing pumpkins song.
originally uploaded to my ao3 under the name Bridgetti.
enjoy :)

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    Fuck, it was freezing. Gerard fumbled with his ice cold keys as snowflakes drifted through the air and a cold wind swept his face. Honestly, Gerard was so eager to get inside. Frank was staying over that weekend and he had texted Gerard earlier saying that he was already at Gerard's place, making them an extra delicious dinner. Gerard was looking forward to spending some quality time with his boyfriend. They had been dating for about six months now, and this was the slowest Gerard had ever moved with any of his previous partners. They had only had sex once, about two weeks ago and Frank had been super nervous throughout the entire thing. Then again, Frank was always kind of nervous--Gerard figured he was just shy at first, but after a couple weeks he started to wonder if something else was going on with Frank. It had taken a very long time for Frank to feel comfortable even kissing Gerard. Gerard had gone in for a kiss on the third date, and Frank had backed away which caused Gerard to wonder if Frank was even into him at all. But when he asked Frank about it, the younger one had began apologizing profusely and nearly started crying, saying that he was sorry he pushed Gerard away and that he wouldn't do it again and that he really did like him like that. Gerard had been too stunned to even say anything for a couple seconds, but then told Frank that it was completely okay, and that he wasn't mad or anything. There had been a couple other situations that had sparked bouts of worry and confusion within Gerard. For instance, when Frank had beaten Gerard at a video game and then locked himself in the bathroom for twenty minutes, or when he had been late to one of their dates and apologized about thirty times. Gerard had never explicitly asked out of fear of offending him or creating an awkward situation, but he hoped that Frank would explain soon.
    Gerard finally unlocked the door and rushed into the townhouse, feeling relief at the rush of warm air.
    "Hey, Frank," Gerard called out, kicking off his boots and hanging up his jacket and scarf.
    There was no answer.
    "Frankie? Where are you?"
    Gerard listened and the house was mostly silent, save for a muffled whimper coming from the living room. When Gerard walked into the living room, nothing seemed out of place, except for the fact that Gerard's potted plant was broken. There were shattered pieces of the pot on the floor and there was dirt everywhere. But there was still no sign of Frank.
    "Frank? What happened?" Gerard moved so he was closer to the mess on the floor, only to spot Frank curled into a ball on the ground, leaning against the wall, shaking.
    Gerard stepped closer and Frank flinched, scooting a little away from his boyfriend. Gerard knelt down and placed his hand on Frank's drawn up knee, "Baby, what happened?"
    "I b-broke your p-plant. P-please don't be angry with me," Frank stuttered, "it was an accident I s-swear."
    "I'm not angry, I promise. It's fine, it was an accident," Gerard said soothingly.
    Frank looked up and Gerard's heart broke. He looked so vulnerable and scared, his eyes rimmed with tears.
    Gerard reached forward in an attempt to hug him, but Frank moved away again and sobbed, "please, d-don't hit me. I'll pay for it I p-promise just please don't h-hit me."
    Gerard didn't know it was possible for his heart to break even more, but it did. Fuck, he should have realized. How did he not realize? Frank being so afraid of disappointing Gerard even with the smallest of things, Frank hiding from him after he beat Gerard at something, Frank's low self-esteem... Thinking back, it was very obvious. All signs pointed to past abuse, and Gerard didn't even realize. He cursed himself for being such an asshole.
    "Baby, I'm not going to hit you. I would never lay a hand on you, I promise."
    How anyone could ever hurt Frank was something that Gerard would never understand. Frank was so sweet, and perfect and beautiful. 
    Slowly, Frank crept closer to Gerard and let his boyfriend wrap his arms around him. Gerard planted kisses on the top of Frank's head and rubbed his back, letting Frank cry into his chest.
    "Shhh, sweetheart you're okay. I'm not going to hurt you."
    Frank took a few deep shuddery breaths and hiccuped. He looked up at Gerard and all Gerard wanted to do was squeeze him tighter and never let him go.
    "Okay, Frankie, it's okay. I'll clean this up, and you can sit on the couch and pick out some movies for us to watch, I'll finish dinner, and then we can eat while we watch them, and I'll even make some of that kettlecorn you like. How does that sound?"
    Frank nodded his head, "Okay, Gee."
Gerard kissed Frank's forehead and brought them both to their feet, leading Frank over to the couch and retrieving a fluffy blanket for him.

---

    When Gerard came back into the living room with two bowls of spaghetti, some cokes, a big bowl of kettlecorn and a box of M&M's, Frank was curled up on the loveseat, the lights were dimmed and he had two DVDs in his hands.
    Gerard set down their food on the coffee table, and sat next to Frank.
    Frank scooted closer to Gerard and quietly spoke, "I chose The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Blair Witch Project. Can we watch blair witch first? I've wanted to watch it for a while now but I was too scared to watch it on my own so.."
    "Whatever you want, Baby."
    "Okay," Frank said shyly, and got up to put it in the player.
    After about twenty minutes, they had finished their actual dinner and moved on the the sweets.
    At the first scary part, Frank clung to Gerard and buried his face in his chest and Gerard almost died, because fuck if Frank Iero wasn't the cutest, sweetest human being on the entire planet. Who the fuck would ever want to hurt him?
    When the movie ended, and Gerard was about to get up and put the next one in, Frank spoke quietly, "his name was Austin."
Gerard looked over at Frank, who was staring at his hands while picking at his chipped black nail polish.
    Frank took a deep breath, "my ex. He used to get mad at me for everything. At first he would just yell. I thought that was okay, because I could deal with him yelling. But he'd always call me names. Stupid, worthless," Gerard took Frank's hands in his and listened intently.
    Frank went on sniffling a couple times, "Whenever I messed up he would scream at me. I-I remember the first time he hit me, I was trying to make a cake for his parents' Easter dinner party a-and I accidentally burnt it. He just slapped me r-right across the face a-and he asked me why I couldn't do anything right."
    At this point there were tears running down Frank's face, Gerard reached forward and cupped Frank's face with his hands,        "Baby, it's okay if you don't want to talk about this now, we can just get back to our movies.
    Frank sniffled, "No, I want to talk about it now. I'm okay. I want to get it out."
Gerard gave him an encouraging smile, "okay, take as much time as you need."
    Frank took a deep breath, "it all got worse from there. I had already moved in with him. At first I thought it wasn't that bad, so what if I got pushed around a little, right? But before I knew it, it wasn't just slaps--it was kicks a-and punches and choking and I h-had to buy makeup to cover up all the bruises. He made me cover it all up. And after he'd beat me, he'd apologize and buy me nice things and act like everything was okay an-and I believed him. P-please don't think it was my fault, I was so scared of telling. I'm still scared of him, I l-left him a year ago and I w-watch my back every time I walk alone because I'm afraid he's gonna find me again and take me back."
    Gerard pulled Frank close and let him cry, stroking his hair and rocking him back and forth, trying not to focus on how fucking angry he was at Frank's bastard of an ex-boyfriend. Gerard swore -  if that asshole ever came near his Frankie again there would be hell to pay.
    "D-don't let him find me, Gerard," Frank sobbed.
    "Don't worry, Frankie. You're safe, I won't let him find you."
    "Promise?" Frank asked, looking up at Gerard through wide eyes.
    "I promise," Gerard kissed Frank's forehead, "ready to get back to our movies now?"
    Frank smiled with watery eyes, "Sure."