Broken

1

Alex

They say it gets better, It doesn't. 

Here we are again, Alex. I say to myself as I stand in front of my tattered bathroom mirror. blood splatters the sink, but this time I don't wonder where the pain is. Humph, I stopped wondering weeks ago. I sigh. Turning the faucet on to rinse off my arms. The past few weeks have been hard, considering its 89 degrees outside, and my mom is constantly asking why I'm still wearing long sleeve sweaters outside. The water stings, but only a bit...Weird. I walk out of my very disturbed bathroom, and make way to my bed. When I see the hurtful words on the computer screen, I remind myself it's okay not to feel. 

No speak. No hear. No see. No feel. 

I mumble those words under my breath, which I keep in a little tab next to the page for reminders. I close out the windows and turn on "A World Alone" By Lorde, because Coldplay is too overrated these days. When the song's tune starts, I turn up the volume to mute the world around me. The words seem to float around the walls, ceilings, and floor until my vision fades and I elope into a world of endless dreaming. 

***

When I wake up, it's not pretty. I jump up with a start as my mom Is shaking my shoulder.

"Mom!" I jump out of her grasp, "What-How?!" 

She lifts an eyebrow and motions to my arm, oh no. "What is this Alexandrea?" 

You know she's serious when she calls me by my full and absolutely horrid name.

"I-Ugh-Dunno." I stammer, pulling my grey blanket over me. 

"Why?" She croaks, her voice cracking at the last part. "Why did you do this to yourself?" 

I can't answer her, it's too painful right now. I do the only thing I can do, and run into my bathroom crying. There's no sigh, no shout, just one long, painful sob. Then I hear the door open and I know it's my younger sister, Molly, joining the pity party. 

I barley manage to hear the gasp escape her lips through the door. I hear footsteps and I know that she's walked over to my mom to comfort her. I'm just the problem child of the family no one can handle. When I get the courage to open the door I almost wished I hadn't. There, reading everything, is-you guessed it, my mother. That's when I fall into the second blackout and collapse in the floor.

***

I laugh with Sidney as we down the acohol and spray the remaining around the rest of her backyard. It's 2 am and we found some of the "poison" in her parents wine cabinet. It was a stupid idea to film ourselves but we both thought it would get a TON of views on YouTube. I continued to laugh, feeling the boost of energy surging through my veins.  We continue to laugh, recording all of it. 

"Alex show everyone you're talent." She slurs through giggles.

I'm too giddy to think as I break into a fit of giggles while dancing ridiculously, I do a little twirl and finish it off with a drop. I run my fingers through my hair while Sid giggles continuously, barley catching her breath. 

"Ok, ok I'm done." I breathe, reaching to stop the video. "I don't want to upload it." 

"Common!" Sid says, "don't be a wuss like you always are, God!" 

I let out a nervous laugh as I watch the video process and get to 100%. That's when the veiws and comments come.

***

AUTHORS POV 

hello everyone :)! This is why I don't write cause it's TERRIBLE. I've never written a story line like this so I hope you enjoy? I dunno. But who else is a Melanie Martinez fan?! Her birthday was yesterday and she turned 21! 🦄🌿🙈