A collection of Short Stories

Three Men in a Desert

This was originally for my Quotev account, but I've decided to post it here as well in case it was deleted because someone can't take a joke. It might be a bit offensive, but it was posted on Wechat three or so years ago. I am not a racist, this is just a story meant for fun. 

Enjoy!

Jingting Wei

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Part 1

Three men were stuck in a desert. A Chinese, Japanese and an American from the US. Almost all of their supplies were gone, and they were about to dry to death.

Seeing a bottle on the ground, they picked it up and popped the cork hoping for water or some sort of liquid to relish their thirst.

No water or liquid, unfortunately. However, a genie came out of the bottle allowing them three wishes granted as a reward for freeing him.

The American went first.

"I want money!" he exclaimed.

And so, a suitcase full of dollar bills appeared on the sand.

"I want more money!"

Another suitcase came filled with green bills.

Finally satisfied that he had all the riches in the world, he asked to be sent back to the States with his money. So he was gone.

The Japanese went next.

"I want a woman!" he exclaimed.

Out of nowhere popped a beautiful woman which stood next to him.

"I want another woman!"

Another beautiful woman popped out of nowhere.

"Now take me back to Japan!" he demanded.

The Japanese and the two women disappeared, transported back to Japan.

Now was the Chinese man's turn.

"Give me a bottle of the finest Maotai wine!" he asked.

A wine bottle flew into his back, sending him flying forward. He collected the bottle, popped the cork, and chugged down the contents.

When it was nearly finished, he said, "Give me a bottle of the greatest French wine!"

The bottle few into his chest, sending him backwards into the sand. The Chinese chugged down half of the other bottle.

Now a bit drunk and swaying, he made his final wish.

"Get those two bastards back here, they didn't say Goodbye to me!"

And so the Japanese and American were trolled back into the desert, without their money or women, and pretty pissed off by their currently drunk companion.

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Part 2

After the Chinese man made his wish to bring the other two back, the three men continued to venture on in the desert. Cursing the drunk Chinese behind his back, they soon found another bottle on the ground. Unpopping the cork, another genie floated out, allowing to grant them each two wishes for freeing him.

The Japanese looked at each other and knew that if they were going to get out of the dessert, they need to allow for the Chinese man to go first.

And so he did.

"Give me a bottle of the greatest wine of New Zealand!"

The wine was caught as it flew down from the sky.

After chugging down the bottle, he seemed a bit drunk again.

"Ok, I'm good," he said to the genie, "You can leave now!"

The Japanese and American screamed in frustration at their lost wishes but kept on going.

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Part 3

Soon, a third bottle popped up. No liquid or water, but the genie who came out of the bottle allowed each of the men each a wish granted for rescuing him.

Both the Japanese and American frantically waved their hands in front of the genie, "Don't do anything he tells you!" they exclaimed.

The Chinese, oblivious to his companions' words, sighed and made his wish.

"I've spent so long in the desert, and I've been dragging those two with me against their will. My wish is this, that they safely return to their own countries."

Unfortunately, that wish wasn't granted, because the Japanese and American had wished for his wish not to be granted. Those two were beyond words when nothing happened. Deciding that their companion was a handful, they made plans to kill him off.

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Part 4

Before they could put their plans into actions, however, they stumbled upon a cannibalistic tribe. But because they entertained the members of the tribe so well, the chief of the tribe gave them an exception.

"We will whip 100 times. The one who isn't whipped by the end of this will be free. The other two members will have to stay here and live with us."

Before the whippings, the chief allowed each of them a request granted. However, it could not be the same request as the one before them.

The American went first.

"Give me a pillow," he asked.

The pillow was placed on him and the whippings commenced. However, after ten whips, the pillow was ruined, and the American felt the full blow of the whippings. He had to stay.

Next went the Japanese.

"Give me ten pillows," he asked, staring at the ruined pillow and the battered body of the American.

Luckily he didn't have such a bad experience. Almost all the pillows were ruined but he managed to escape, unscathed. He was rather happy that he'll be the one to leave.

Finally, it was the Chinese man's turn. After thinking long and hard he came up with an idea.

"I'll use him as a shield," he said, pointing at the gaping Japanese man.