Out Of Desperation // Harry Styles

7

I didn't like the thought of never having met her, but for HER sake, I wish I never met her. I've only been one burden after another in her life, since the second she laid eyes on me.

The more I looked at the sadness in her eyes, the more I DIDN'T want to know what happened to her. I already knew. Who was a kidding? I knew that bas.tard ra.ped her. I knew it. I knew what would happen to her the second he asked her what she was going to do for him, and she said whatever.....

I couldn't take the rage building up inside me anymore. It needed to come out, and I hope she stayed out of my way, because it was coming, no matter what.

I closed my eyes and put both hands on her shoulders, and gently pushed her to my arms' extended length. I took a step back, turned around, and let it all out.

I yelled at the top of my lungs. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let us the fvck OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God DAMMMMMMITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

I picked up the stupid mattress on the floor and heaved it up over my head and tossed it at the metal door. My hand ended up tangled in the sheet, so I grabbed it and tore it like the fucking Hulk tearing off his shirt. I didn't even feel the pain in my stomach. I stomped to the door and kicked it as hard as I could. Ok, that hurt. But I didn't care.

I banged my fists on the walls. On the door. On the mattress that was sagging crookedly against the door.

And finally, when I was worn out, I gave one final "FUUUCK!!!!!!" and squatted down with my head in my hands, breathing it off.

I outstretched one palm towards where Jenna was standing, and said "Sorry", then put it back on my head and tucked myself into a crouching ball of anger. Until I finally caught my breath, then I sat the rest of the way down, Indian style and put my head back against the wall, and kept my eyes closed.

Then, I felt a hand on my knee. I guess when she realized it was safe to be near me she put her other hand on my other knee. And she knealt down to me, and pushed my legs out of the way, and leaned in and hugged me.

She asked quietly, "do you still want to know?"

I instantly said no.

But several seconds later, I said yes.

I don't know why. What did it matter? Not like I could change it. Not like I could do anything about it. Not like I could help. Not like I could do ANYTHING for this wonderful woman that came into my life, that I simply could NOT take care of or keep safe, not one single bit.

I didn't even feel like a man anymore.

She told me the story. I cringed with my eyes closed, resting my head back against the wall the whole time. God, I wanted to kill these people. With my own bare hands. I wanted to rip them limb from limb. I wanted to kill them surely, but slooooowly, so they could suffer as long as possible. I'd make it take DAYS if I could. I'd make the time. How DARE they do this to this innocent woman. How dare they do this to MY ANGEL.

If that's how guardian angels are treated, then that fucking SUCKS.

I did good, though. I only got almost uncontrollable mad when she told me it happened in the bathroom. The hand prints I'd seen. From her story, I now knew they were HERS. Bloody fvcking HELL......
The bathroom was RIGHT across the hall from where I was strapped in. So it happened so close to me, I could have heard her if she would have screamed.

"Why didn't you scream? Fight? Anything?", I asked her. She was silent.

I was extremely nervous about the next question, but I had to make sure..."Please tell me you weren't a virgin."