Worthless - A Niam Horayne fanfic

"Grrrrrrrr" Zayn grumbled under his breath as he got up and put his empty bowl in the sink. He turned the tap on and a rush of water surged out, which almost made him shout his feelings out too but he bit his tongue. As the clear water washed over the dirty crockery he turned and rested his back on the sink, his head raised to the sky, eyes closed, breathing in the feeling of distraction in the air. He switched off the tap and walked into the sitting room, slumped down onto the worn out sofa and reached for the remote to switch on the TV. He almost couldn't care what was on TV as he rested his head on the back of the sofa, eyes closed, breathing heavily as some corny games show blared out of the speakers. Eventually he dozed off as Harry and Louis left the house. Leaving the weird air of tension all around and thinking it would be better to spend the day elsewhere.

Liam was sure he had walked for miles but couldn't be sure. In fact, he wasn't exactly sure where he was. The rain, that was pouring down ferociously had now drained off to a miserable drizzle, matching his mood. Eventually, his tired and worn out legs told him he could walk no further. He found a dark and deserted alleyway by the back of some houses and sat down on a muddy ledge. He didn't mean to but he let a tear slip out of his heavy eyes and soon the wet tears were falling down his cheeks like a waterfall. All his emotions that he had built up were finally let out. Then after the sadness came the anger. He cried out for something to happen, someone to come save him from this misery. He stood up on his shaky legs, feeling a surge of anger posses his body. He turned with all the anger he had ever felt in his life in this one moment. Why him, why treat him this way? He punched the wall violently until his knuckles bled then slid back to the cold, wet, hard floor, the sobs racking his body. The anger subsisted only to be replaced with misery and emptiness. Not a feeling which he relished. He leant his head against the bricks of the wall and closed his eyes, breathing extremely heavily after his violent outbreak and thought about everything but at the same time thought about nothing but Niall. How could such a beautiful being make him feel so worthless?

Meanwhile, at the house, Niall's tears had all but subsided. What had he done? He knew in his heart that he couldn't live like this anymore but his mind was telling him that he had to react to Liam like this. He couldn't say how he really felt, could he? "No what a stupid idea" he mumbled to himself under his breath, barely loud enough for himself to hear. "Why would a beautiful being like Liam ever like me? I'm just.... Well...... I'm just Niall....." He tried to reason with himself but it only made him feel worse. " I'm.... I'm fat and ugly and he hates me. He's probably only talking to me because he has to. Because he is such a nice person, because...." But he couldn't finish the sentence because the tears cut him off. He was worthless. By this point, 6 hours had passed and the anger came surging in. Anger at himself, anger at Liam, anger at his feelings. He flung himself on his bed and buried his face into the pillow, staining it with his tears. He let out a loud and heartfelt scream, letting out everything, and disturbing every organ his body possessed. It was all his fault, or at least that was what he felt like! He let out another scream but he had become so weak it barely came out as a whimper. He buried his face further into the bedding and tried to hide from the world, to try to run away from his own feelings.

Downstairs Zayn awoke to a scream he recognised to be Niall's. it jolted his senses into life and he stole a glance at the clock. 5:00pm. What had he done all day? He looked at the TV where the quiz show had been replaced with some sleep inducing documentary about baked bean tins. He stumbled for the remote and turned off the TV. He looked around him and noticed with a weird sensation that he was alone. "Anyone home?" He yelled in a half hearted way, expecting at least Harry or Louis to answer him, but the house stayed eerily quiet. He got up to investigate as he was not sure where everyone had gone. He cautiously climbed the stairs to where the bedrooms were located. He knocked on Harry's door, no answer and it was the same with Louis. He moved on to Niall's room. He knocked on the door but again received no answer but he knew he had heard Niall in distress so put his hand on the door handle and tried to push it open but found that it was locked solid. He gave up, not wanting to push things further. Finally, after checking his own room to make sure it wasn't some practical joke layed on him by Harry and Louis, Zayn moved onto Liam's door. He knocked tentatively but recived no answer so he pushed open the door. He looked around but soon confirmed there was no one there. He leant against the door and rubbed his fingers across his temple, trying to figure out where everyone had gone. "Liam went for a walk...." He muttered "but..." He froze suddenly and glanced out of the window at the freezing weather and pouring rain. "Oh my God Liam's still out there!" He sprinted downstairs, jumping the last 4 steps and landing with a heavy thud on the carpeted floor of the hallway. He grabbed his coat and was just about to step out of the door when he looked at the weather again and also reached for his umbrella. He put it up and rushed out of the house, on his mission to find Liam.