With a final tug towards reality, you cracked your eyes open. It was dark and you couldn't even tell where you were. But you could hear something. It sounded like multiple people snoring. And that was when you figured it out. They had succeeded and you had failed. Why couldn't they understand that you wanted it to be over? Why couldn't they let you go? You weren't important and you were sure as hell not worth saving. And you finally broke down. The sobs racked your body in waves. There was no stopping the waterfall of tears. You didn't care anymore and you didn't care how loud you got. Sooner rather than later, you woke the dropship up. Finn and Bellamy were the first to rise. As they tried to console you, Octavia and the others woke up as well. Nothing could calm you down. Finally, Finn picked you up and walked out of the dropship. He sat down about a mile outside of camp. With his back against a large tree, he hugged you close. There was no sense in prying because he already knew - you didn't want to be saved. XXX
Sometime within the night, your sobs subsided and you fell asleep. Finn kept watch the entire night. Not that he needed to; Bellamy had tagged along to keep watch for him. He wanted to ensure the safety of both of you. But he had given the siblings their space. He wouldn't let his feelings for you get in the way. If you only knew how much he cherished you. XXX
Once the birds started to chirp, Finn carefully rose to his feet. He took his time walking back to camp, thinking of simpler and happier times. He was not shocked when Bellamy fell into step beside him. Everybody knew of his feelings for you. Except you. They walked in peaceful silence until Bellamy opened his mouth.
"How do I help her?" He asked in a whisper.
"I don't know dude. I don't know and I'm her brother for Jaha's sake," Finn lamented quietly.
"You and me. Clarke and Octavia too. Monty and Jasper. Y/N," your name fell off his tongue with a slight hiss, "We'll get through this together. Just like we always have." Finn nodded and continued to walk. The dropship was in clear sight. XXX
As you entered the gate, you began to wake up. The first thing you noticed was the overwhelming amount of eyes fixated upon you. You shut your eyes and gripped Finn's shirt tighter in your fists.
"Don't worry sis. I've got you," he whispered to the point where even Bellamy couldn't fully hear him. He might not have heard what was said, but Bellamy definitely noticed that you were awake once again. He scooted a little closer as if to shield you from everyone's sight. It was a useless defense but the gesture made you smile. He didn't have to do that and yet he did. The public torture ended as Finn carried you into his tent.
"You don't have to talk about it. But if you wanna, I'm right here," Finn spoke as he sat down into his bed with you still attached to his chest. You nodded but made no move to change position. After standing for another minute, Bellamy sat down next to Finn on the bed.
"Don't you have to go do something important in camp?" Finn asked with a smile.
"This is important. Besides," Bellamy answered, "the camp doesn't need me 24/7." Bellamy closed his eyes and leaned his head back to rest against the tent. XXX
Leaving his eyes closed, he focused on the whispers.
"I don't belong here. I never have. I can't get rid of these voices. There's no other way out Finn," you whispered sharply.
"Y/N I can't lose you too. You can beat this, I promise. Besides you always have me," Finn argued. Bellamy had heard enough to break his heart.
"You have me too," Bellamy spoke quietly. You gasped softly in surprise as Finn looked at you as if to prove his point.
"No I don't. You'll leave too soon enough. I'm tired of being the one who is left behind. I want to be the one who isn't hurt. The one to leave," you whispered venomously, "Give it enough time and Finn will leave too. They all leave." Bellamy shut his eyes as if to blink but he didn't open them immediately.
"Y/N, if I didn't love you, I would've left a long time ago," Finn started but Bellamy cut him off.
"Finn, will you give us a minute please?" Finn nodded and stalked out of the tent. You turned to glare at Bellamy. It was so easy to be angry. And yet you were filled with sorrow. Everything you touched ended up burnt and hurt. Finn was always a part of the list but you couldn't help but think he wouldn't rebound this time. Maybe he had enough of your tireless problems. Bellamy finally opened his eyes to look at you.
"Why don't you believe that you are worth loving? Because you definitely are. I love you so much and I know that you know but you feel like you don't deserve it. Y/N, I don't know what else I can do to make you believe in yourself."
"Everyone I love gets hurt. They die or they leave. But what's the difference? Bellamy please tell me because I can't lose you too," you confessed. Bellamy crawled over to be directly in front of you.
"Y/N look at me," he held your face gently in his hands, "They don't leave you because they want to. They leave because they are unfairly ripped away. I love you so much and if I have any say left, I'll never leave you. And this won't fix everything, but can I kiss you?" You smiled and leaned forward. You kissed each other softly. Nothing too heavy but there was so much meaning behind the simple kiss. It was love and reassurance and hope all wrapped into one. Everything wasn't okay and nothing was magically fixed, but you had a good feeling knowing that Bellamy was in your corner. XXX
XXX Oh my god I'm sorry this is so long and took me forever. Love you guys and don't forget to request stuff. I'll get it faster if you message me!
Bellamy Blake #3
Comincia dall'inizio
