What was it like to ever feel beautiful? I want to trade eyes with people so I could see myself from them. No, this is not a cinderella story where I am mistreated and my prince charming will save me eventually. This is me how I cope with school, romance, friendship, and self-image. I think we are always unaware of this and sometimes we have to be awakened from our blindside fantasies.
I am Isabel. Eighteen and entering college. I almost vomit the idea of college, though. I am not holding any grudge against school or whatever because duh, who doesn't want to get educated? It's the process and how irrelevant shenanigans we have to do to attain the degree we are holding. Anyway, I am still in vacation mode so more time to bawl my soul out!!!
A brief history of my life: I got bullied. So damn bad. Too harsh? Okay. I have a twin brother and we don't look alike solely because we're fraternal twins. We went to the same school together and and during freshman year, you know people, judgemental and the why-dont-you-look-the-same questions bombarded us on our first day. It didn't bug me that much. Until the middle of the semester. For I don't know reasons, it just started. I got picked on because of my complexion, face, basically EVERYTHING.
Then a bit of depression hits me. I don't encourage people to use that term when they try to associate it with sadness because it is not about sadness. There are branches of sadness: self-loathe, loneliness, anxiety and hopelessness. I almost killed myself. What stopped me is really humorous, I am afraid of scars and how it will result into: it'll mark and will add up to flaws. I threw away the damn blade. That palpitation occurred and I somewhat release these tears in my eyes that as if it wanted to be released long time ago. I healed, thank God.
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Hello! Yay for a new story and nay for an incomplete previous story :c sorry! I am really in the mood to make a new one and I hope you guys still continue to read my works! :) I'll try my best to update this (what a lie) asap!
