Miserable at Best.

First Day of School.

Hi I'm Alic, I'm 16 years old and I am pretty much in love with bands. I probably wouldn't be here without them, I was diagnosed with chronic depression a little over a year ago. I hate leaving the house and I don't like food. At all. I was born a girl named Alexa but it just didn't feel right so you know, I'm transgender. Well anyways today is my first day of school here and I'm not excited.

I wake up to an alarm clock blaring in my ear, at six O'clock in the morning. "I sure missed this!" I sarcastically exclaimed as I got out of bed. "Give it a break and get in the shower!" My mom shouted from the other room. "Yes ma'am" I said very quickly.

I turned on my music as I jumped in the shower, it took me about 30 minutes before my mom yelled at me to get out. I wrapped up my upper region and put on my favorite nirvana Vestibule T-shirt and my favourite black skinny jeans from the one and only Hot Topic. Then I blowdried my hair and flipped it. "Are you ready, we need to go sign you in." my mom said as she walked into my bathroom and gave me a hug. "Momma, I really don't want to go today." I mentioned as a tear rolled down my face.

"I know you don't but you have to, it's out of our control now. But listen who wouldn't want to be friends with a boy as handsome as you?" She said. At that point I was completely balling my eyes out. Not only because of school but that was the first time my mom hasn't misgendered me since I came out. At that point I realized that today was gonna be great.

I grabbed my things and threw on my shoes and off to school we went. I walked in and as we signed in I looked to my left and I saw a girl. She was wearing the same shirt as I was. She had this bright purple hair in two buns on the top of her head. I am determined to make her mine. The counselor walked me to my first period class. I walked in and there she was, sitting in the back, the seat next to her was the only one open. "This is Alexa." The teacher said as she introduced me to the class. "Actually, I'm Alic." I corrected her quietly. "Oh, I'm sorry. This is Alic." she said kind of snappy. "Go sit by Violet. The one with purple hair." When she said that I freaked a little.

I was walking towards her to sit down, that's when my anxiety kicked in and it felt like time just froze as I was thinking 'What if she's transphobic. What if she doesn't like me at all. Ugh. I don't know if I can do this. Chill out Alic. We're both wearing the same shirt. She obviously likes grunge.' Then as time somewhat resumed I sat down.

As soon as I sat down she drowned me with questions. "So that name mix up, are you transgender? Do you really like Nirvana? Are you just wearing that shirt because it's cool? What kind of music do you listen to? Where did you get that shirt? Where do you get your hair cut? I like it."

I laughed under my breath. "Yes, I am transgender. I really do like Nirvana. I like a lot of different kinds of music. I mean yeah, the shirts cool and all but I'm wearing it because I really like Nirvana. I got it for Christmas. And I cut it myself. Thank you." It was so cute how she wanted to know me like the back of her hand. "OH. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to flood you with questions..." she said as she realized how she hammered me with questions. "Oh, no it's really not a problem. I like people asking me questions. It makes me feel... Important."

"You are important. Not many people walk through these doors wearing a Nirvana shirt and is actually in love with the band itself." she pointed out quite confidently. "I bet." I said as the bell rang. "We have study hall next. I want to introduce you to my best friend. Follow me." She insisted. Before I could say anything she stormed away, and off we went.

We were walking down the hallway as she saw her best friend. "MEREDITH!!!!!!!" she yelled across the hallway. A girl with really long hollywood red hair turned around and yelled "VIOLET!!!!!!!!" back as she ran to Violet. When she got to us she asked "who's this?"  "Alic, my new friend." Violet responded as she raised her eyebrows as if I was more than just a friend. Which I hope we can be. "Alic, this is Mere, she's my best friend." she introduced her to me as Meredith stood there about to say something. "NICOLE!!!" she yelled " I want you to meet someone." She smiled.

Nicole ran as fast as she could, and once she got here she said "What's up, babe?" "I would like for you to meet someone. This is Alic." Meredith mentioned. "Alic, this is my girlfriend, Nicole." "Hai." I said quietly."Ummm, I need to go to the bathroom... Alic, come with me." Violet said "He can't go to the girls room!" Meredith whispered. "Uhhh, yes he can." Violet shot back. "Okay, it's whatever, Nicole and I are gonna go to class." Meredith said a little uneasy. "Okay. Love you!" Violet said as Meredith walked away.

Violet took me to the girl's room and when we walked in a lot of people were staring at me like I didn't belong there. In all reality I wasn't allowed to be in the boy's room. So, what's left to do? "I don't think Nicole likes you very much." Violet said. "Me either. Honestly she was kinda scary, she'd probably snap me in half." I responded. "She'll have to get over it." Violet said. "I think we should get to class. Who do you have?" She asked. "I have Mr. Garcia." I replied. "Coolness. Me too. He's chill."

We were walking in the hallway when we found Meredith and Nicole making out up against a locker. "Ewww. GET A ROOM!" Violet scared them both and almost fell down laughing. "Mere you're spending the night tonight, right?" She said as she winked. "Most definitely." She replied.

When we got to the room we sat in the back and talked about our fears. "I fear rejection." Said Violet. "What do you fear Alic?" "I fear being in a room alone with no distractions." I said "Dang. That's deep." Meredith said.  It wasn't long before the class period was over. I don't have anymore classes with Violet sadly.  The day went by fairly quick before I had to go home.

When I got home my mom asked "How was your first day, babe?" "It was actually pretty great." I replied.