Nothing was quite the same after that. Days passed, and there was no sign and no mention of Maxwell. The common room seemed empty without him there, cracking jokes or showing off some weird trick. It was as if there was a ghost floating around, but we were all too scared to speak of it. He was acknowledged only in whispers in the hallways, members of other teams offering us their condolences. I wanted to tell them to shut up, to stop, that he wasn't dead, there was no way, but I knew that the evidence pointed overwhelmingly towards that.
Many people were talking about trying to save up a hundred points. Legend said that you could redeem a hundred points to ask the Matriarch a question she promised to answer truthfully. I told them not to bother, that I would go and check the graveyard, but still I was hesitant to do it. As long as I didn't check, he could remain in a limbo state, possibly alive and possibly dead. But in the end, I decided that the joy of the possibility of discovering that he WASN'T dead outweighed the sorrow of the possibility of discovering that he WAS.
It was a long, slow hike, and I savored and hated every minute of it at the same time. Each step meant that I was a step closer to finding out if he was alive, but also that there was one less step before I could discover if he was dead. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I reached the top of the big hill. I could see the gravestones from here, and there didn't appear to be a new one. Still, I refused to let myself get excited until I was sure. Slowly and carefully I made my way down the hill, until I was standing in the middle of the field. I looked at each headstone in turn. Tyrone, Emma, Cassidy, Kay, and others. All of them in a weather-worn script. None of them were new. None of them bore Maxwell's name. She'd had plenty of time to bury him by now. This had to mean he was alive! I wanted to shout with joy. The journey back from the graveyard seemed much easier and quicker than the journey there had been.
When I got back to the dorm, I messaged Laurence. I need to talk to you again. This time his reply was almost instant: No. Not after last time. My heart sank. People needed to know this. At least Orange Team. Someone had defied the Matriarch and she was being merciful. At least, I had to hope that not killing him meant that she was being merciful. This was more than any of us had hoped for. But Laurence wouldn't budge on his position, and eventually I was forced to give up and go to class. No matter what else happened, as much as I hated it, life went on. I still had to eat.
I made a shield from my desperation that day, and it held up so well that even the robot throwing a fifty-pound ball at it couldn't make it flicker. I tried making a spear from my hope, but it wouldn't stop flickering. I tried again, this time making a spear from my anger, and it cut through a wall of bricks on the training grounds without a problem. I was learning more and more now to channel my emotions alongside my power. It worked well, but I hated the results, hated how the weapons made from my despair and anger and all the worst parts of me were always the strongest weapons I could make.
I was drained and thoroughly sick of myself by the time I called it quits, even though I'd earned thirty points in one day. As I approached the dorm, I heard screaming and ran for the door. The ten seconds it took to scan in seemed too long. I was expecting the worst, the Matriarch gone mad or something. But when the door slid open, it turned out to be the sound of people screaming and hugging Maxwell by turns. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "Maxwell. Thank the Powers." Was all I could manage, and my voice was very small and quiet for all I wanted to say. I simply collapsed into a chair to watch and wait for the crowd to clear. Even people I was fairly certain had never spoken to Maxwell or any of us newbies before were caught up in the moment, the relief of having a teammate home.
But when the crowd cleared, when it was just Maxwell, Kayla, Lauren, and I, I thought something looked off. Maxwell was so frequently scorned and glared at, you'd think he would've been basking in all the attention. But he just stood there, a grim expression I'd never seen before on his face and an...empty sort of look in his eyes. He had no sign of injuries, the bruises were gone, but he just didn't look right. "Maxwell, are you okay?" I asked him softly. "I'm fine. Thanks for taking me back, guys." Was all he said. He hugged us all tightly and disappeared off to his dorm.
That was the longest we saw him for weeks on end. We might see him for a few seconds here or there, to gulp down his meals (he was always there as soon as the cafeteria opened now), or on the practice court, sparring with one of the AIs with a desperation I'd never seen in him before (I watched him let the AI beat him up once, after his shield failed), but never for longer. The small crowd that had started gathering in the courtyard to watch his tricks seemed lost now. I missed his little performances too, annoying as they had been. I didn't know this new, serious Maxwell at all.
Eventually, I finally decided that I'd had enough. When I saw him on one of the practice courts one day, I went up to him. "Maxwell." I said. He dodged the AI's attack, apparently ignoring me. "Maxwell!" He summoned a knife to throw at the robot, which dodged it. "MAXWELL!" "Pause." He said calmly to the robot. It froze. "What do you need?" He asked me. "I'm worried about you." I said. "I'm fine." "What did she do to you? Maybe it will be better if you talk about it." "She didn't do anything to me beyond what you saw. The rest I inflicted upon myself." I wasn't convinced. "Still, talking to your friends will help." I offered. "I don't deserve to have friends. I need to focus on self-control from now on." He said firmly.
I didn't even get a chance to to respond before my Connect chimed in sync with Maxwell's. It was a message from the Matriarch that read: Everyone report to the stadium within the next thirty minutes. No. Nonononono. Not another one of these! Hadn't there been enough torment lately?
