I Thought You Were Different

Agreements

As if on cue, the doors to the operating room opened and Tony's physician appeared, his brow covered in sweat and his gown bloody as he tore it away. "I need to speak to Mr. Barton and Miss (Y/L/N) immediately."

Natasha hurried to the ER to find Clint and Steve took a protective stance next to you, waiting to hear what the doctor could possibly want. You had already given all of the blood that you could safely give, so what else would they want? Once Clint had arrived, the doctor hurried to explain.

"Mr. Stark has irreparable damage to his liver from a puncture wound, and we're having trouble maintaining his blood volume because of this. We need to ask one of them to donate."

"Woah, hold on, a liver donor? But they need theirs too, how can they donate?" Steve jumped in, now filled with anxiety and fear again, just as he was when he saw Bruce sitting outside when you all had arrived. You could sense the shift in his demeanor and reached up for his hand.

"The liver has regenerative properties, so they would only need to donate a portion. Much of it would grow back, and Mr. Stark would have enough to survive."

"Done. I'm doing it," you answered, kissing Pepper again and standing to be taken away, releasing Steve's hand. "Let's go."

"Hold on just a damn minute," Clint interjected, "I think you've been through enough with your own body and your own recovery. I should do it."

"And I think that this is a decision that we should make together," Steve replied, turning towards the surgeon. "Can we at least talk about it?"

"I can give you only five minutes," the doctor answered, turning back into the operating room. "We can't wait any longer than that."

~~~

"Steve, please understand why I have to do this. It's Tony. I owe him this after everything he's done for me, and for us. I need to do this for him."

"But you've been through too much already, (Y/N)," Clint argued, "and I know it's not anywhere near my place to stop you, but I think it's just a bad idea. Let me do it."

"They're sure that only you two are his blood type?" Steve asked, trying to find any way out for you, fully aware that you weren't about to back down. "We've tested everyone?"

"Nick and Maria are the same type, because they donated to me, but they're both out of the country and we don't have that kind of time." You paused and walked to Clint first, taking his hands into yours as you stood face-to-face and spoke quietly to him, "Clint, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But this is important to me, okay? I know you want to help Tony too, and you want to keep me safe. But please, if you still love me in any way, back down. Do that for me instead."

He looked at you, trying to understand; trying to see why you would put yourself in jeopardy for Stark, but he thought back to the days in Korea and how fiercely protective Tony was of you. There was a bond between the two of you that he didn't understand, but it didn't matter. He realized that it had to be you for more reasons than he knew, and he very reluctantly backed down.

"Cap?" Clint called out, still looking at you. "What's our play?"

You released Barton and turned to Steve, hoping that he would see that this was the right thing to do. If he disagreed, and if he refused to back down, you told yourself that you would relent to Clint and respect your fiancé in his decision. You had made too many choices on your own that should have included him, and you weren't about to begin that again. With a hopefulness and pleading in your expression, you waited for what felt like an eternity to hear his answer.

Steve crossed the room and stood before you, taking your chin in his hands to tip it up and meet your gaze. He searched your eyes for a moment, connecting with you so that you would feel his apprehension, but also his commitment to you; that he knew how important this was for you to do and how he would support you even if he didn't like it.

"Tell them she's ready."

~~~

With your hospital gown on, your ID band tight around your wrist, a flimsy surgical cap covering your hair and those awkward socks with the useless grips on the bottom in place, you stood outside of the operating area with Steve, beginning to feel your nerves kick in for the first time. Your decision hadn't changed in the least, but you knew how hard this was on him, seeing you going into another situation that would put you at risk, and again just after he had gotten you back.

"This is it now, right?" he sighed, holding your hands, watching his thumb rub softly over the tops of them. "After this, we get to catch a break?"

"Promise." You pulled one of your hands from him and raised it to touch his cheek, doing your best to keep yourself composed when you saw the sadness in his eyes. "Okay, I need you to do something for me while I'm in there. When I come out, I want a date set. You just tell me when to show up. I'll be the one in the obnoxious white dress."

"I can do that."

"Miss (Y/L/N/), are you ready?"

Steve stiffened his posture and hurried to say his goodbye. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss and lifting you from the ground within his strong arms, holding you so tightly that you almost struggled to breathe. He set you down gently, releasing your hand to allow the nurse to take you away.

"I love you more," you replied back, watching until the last second before the doors closed and left each of you alone, worried more for the other than for yourselves, and worried that this wouldn't be enough to save your teammate. "Can I see him first? Before you knock me out?" you asked, "I have something I need to tell him."

~~~

The coolness of the room struck you first, and then the incessant beeping of monitors and the smell of antiseptic and blood. Then you saw him, vulnerable and alone, and it hurt. Tony was an independent man, never admitting that he needed anyone openly, but you knew another side to him, and knew that he would be terrified.

"Can I touch him?"

"We've uncovered his hand for you, so only there. Everything else has to remain sterile." The nurse walked away to prepare your table, leaving you at Tony's side. His skin was still warm, but the lack of response when you touched him was unnerving. This is how Steve must have felt that day, and only then did you realize that Tony had been there too, breathing for you when you couldn't do it for yourself.

"Hey, Tony," you whispered, leaning down next to him and taking caution to not touch anything, "you look like hell." One of the other nurses had heard and laughed quietly, smiling at you compassionately when you met her eyes. "Ok, so here's how this is gonna work. You're going to live through this for two reasons. First, if I'm giving you a big chunk of the only liver that I have, you had better survive to use it because once it's in there, I don't want it back. Second, you have to give me away at my wedding," you paused, feeling tears building in your eyes. "I know that I haven't asked you yet, but you're kind of asleep and this just happened. But I feel pretty confident that you'll do it because you want it about as much as I do. Sometimes I think you want it more," you chuckled, seeing the nurse ready for you to take your place. "Okay, so that's a deal then, right? Right. I'm glad you agree."

You climbed up onto your own surgical table and closed your eyes as the mask was placed over your face, tightly holding Tony's hand while your tables were still close to each other. It took only seconds for you to begin to feel the dreamy haze of anesthesia as they pushed it into your veins. You turned to look at him one last time before your vision went dark, feeling your hand drop limply away from his, and a final pang of fear that you would never see him again.