You Crack Me Up, Steven (A Sam & Max + Steven Universe Crossover)

Chapter 3

By now, Max was sticking his head into the open mouth of Lion, who had wandered in while the flashback was playing, like a lion tamer. "Sam! Sam! Hey Sam! Look at me! Sam! Look at me, Sam! Look at me, Sa-" Lion closed his jaw on Max's head. "AAAW, SAAAAAM! YOU MISSED IIIIT!!!!!"

"Lion! No! We don't eat our idols like they're Lion Lickers!" Steven scolded, as he and Amethyst began pulling Max free from Lion's jaw; Peridot and Pearl just looked confused, and Garnet was unreadable as ever.

"Unfortunately, our adventure had hit one too many misdirections and we ended up stumbling upon the strange forgotten worlds of the multiverse," Sam continued. "We've been to Endsville, Marzipan City, Peach Creek, Sector V, Stormalong Harbor, the Land of Ooo-"

"Strangely cryptic for a place so weird and bizarre," Max added as he was finally pulled free from Lion's mouth.

"-Also, we may have picked up a few too many 'ill-gotten' souvenirs during our travels," Sam admitted.

Right as he said that, the trunk of the DeSoto burst open. From inside the trunk poured out a collection of cartoon memorabilia past; including a wooden board with a face drawn on it, a large mask that could likely be used to scare cowardly dogs, a scythe, a bust statue of a little old lady, a woman made entirely out of candy, and a large white polar bear.

"Ice Bear wants a lawyer," The polar bear said plainly as he simply got up and walked away, stopping only to nod at Garnet -who nodded back.

Steven shook off what just happened and looked back up to Sam in wonder.

"How'd the Commissioner know about the missing people?"

"Nobody knows," Sam shrugged.

"Nor does anyone care," Max added.

"But all that matters is that we follow these incredibly expositional orders... Or else!" Sam added cryptically.

"Or else what?" Pearl asked suspiciously.

"Nobody knooooooows!" Sam moaned in a spooky fashion, causing Amethyst and Steven to giggle. "But farbeit from us to question the will of a seemingly-omniscient seldom-seen higher power. So we'd like to thank you for your hospitality-"

Max clung to Pearl's legs. "And for not using your jagged schnoz to perforate my lemon-shaped brain." Pearl just scowled at this; Max turned to Peridot. "Also you... You taste salty." Peridot was more than a little freaked out.

Steven gave his saddest pair of eyes. "Awww. Do you guys have to go already?"

Sam ruffled Steven's hair. "Sorry, Champ; but if WE don't head off into the wild unknown to do the forbidden dance with death, then who will?" He then grabbed Max by the ears, "Now let's roll, Little Buddy!!"

Sam and Max dashed for the door for the doors to the DeSoto. But before they can get in and drive off, Garnet blocked their way and stopped the two in place.

"Not so fast," Garnet simply stated, "We're coming with you."

"We are?" Peridot and Pearl asked in confusion.

"We are?!" Steven and Amethyst asked in excitement.

"You are?" Sam was skeptical. "What logical reason-"

"-Other than the fact that the network will skin our adorable fuzzy hides if we say 'no,'" Max cut in.

"-Would a gaggle of defenders from beyond our stars like you tag along with a duo of lovable sociopaths like us?" Sam asked.

"For one," Garnet began, "Because we're the Crystal Gems, and it is our duty to protect this planet from any/all mysterious forces that threaten it."