Lovely (AU)

(1) Vacation +

I was sitting in the back of my car watching as the world went by. My friend, Hattie, was driving me to a vacation house back in Ohio.

It was her parents' house but they told us we could use it. They said that we needed a break from life and visit with old friends and some stuff like that. I didn't really want to but they kind of forced us.

We would be gone a whole three months. I told them I had work but they made a deal with my boss behind my back. Those sneaky shits.

I was not at all happy to go back home. Hattie, on the other hand, was like a live wire. She was so excited to see our old city.

When both of us were younger we lived in Columbus, Ohio and were best friends. I had very few friends but she had so many. She was what people called "popular" and I wasn't.

As the years passed I lost all my friends, well other than Hattie and him. I was the type of person to cut all my friends off in a self-destructing way. Hattie was one of my two friends who stuck around and helped. She really was and still is too good for me.

While I was in high school I realized that I was not truly happy. I also realized it was hard for me to not feel empty.

High school was really tough for me. I did good on my grades but everything else hurt me. I would go through the motions and try not to think thoughts that made me question my life. It was hard when I didn't have many friends.

I lost most of my friends by having mood swings; one moment I would yell at them telling them they did not deserve me and the next moment I would be crying saying they don't deserve trash like me. They couldn't handle it so they just stop talking to me.

I had Hattie but I also had another friend. I don't like to think about him. I really liked him which is why I pushed him out of my head for so long. Just thinking about him makes me think of home.

I didn't want to but I ended up thinking about him. Oh Tyler, I've missed you. He helped me through a lot by helping me control those certain thoughts and mood swings. He also was going through stuff.

I kind of hoped to see him in Ohio. Actually I don't know how I feel about him. We were as close as siblings but I had lost touch with him. I don't know what happened to him. He could be married with children or traveling the world. I hoped not to see him but a small part of me wants to.

He would be strong for me and I would be strong for him. We would tell each other what we wanted to do and how we planned on doing it. We trusted each other because we would never judge each other. We knew each other like we knew the back of our hands.

I was still thinking about Tyler when I felt that the car was starting to slow down. Soon the car stopped and I look up and saw Hattie, her eyes were a deep blue with specks of white in them. She was staring at me with her worried eyes. I looked back at her with confusion.

"I never knew you were unhappy in high school. How come you did not tell me. You know I would have helped" Whispered Hattie with her small, calming voice. I looked back even more confused. She knew I had no idea what she was talking about and softened her eyes. She begins to explain, " You talked in your deep train of thought you said some stuff about horrible school, sadness, Tyler, no help, very little help, and some other stuff. Is it true or are you just going crazy." I looked at Hattie with puppy dog eyes, I did not want to explain to her my past life it would ruin the whole vacation.
"I will tell you when we get back home."

"I want to know now." She said crossing her arms and putting her bottom lip out.

"Please not now. It will take a long time to talk about and I don't want to ruin the vacation by talking about sad things like my past life. Plus I don't want to talk."

"Alice you are my best friend tell me or I will call you Ally Boo for the rest of my life OK, Ally Boo." She knows I hate that nickname.

"Fine, I will tell you but only because I hate the name Ally Boo."

Finally, I told Hattie about how Tyler and I were best friends who help each other through the tough parts of life. I also told Hattie that Tyler started hanging out with me less because he found a friend named Josh and they made music together. Then, I also told Hattie that I almost lost it when no one was there for me. I also explained that I could not talk to Hattie because I did not want Hattie, my only friend at the time, to leave or petty me. Finally, I told Hattie that I just had to move away after high school and how I thought Arizona would be great because I thought the sun would make me feel warm inside.