Oscar and the lady in Pink

Letter 1

Dear God,
My name is Oscar; I'm 10 years old; I burnt the cat, the dog, the house( and I think I even burnt the goldfish) and this is the first letter that I'm writing to you because before, I didn't have time as I used to go to school. I'm going to tell you beforehand; I hate writing. I write only when I don't have any other choice what to do with life. Because I think writing is only decoration; tinsel,ribbon etc. Writing is nothing but a lie that makes things better,Something that only adults use. You want a proof of this? Take the first sentence of my letter: " My name is Oscar; I'm 10 years old; I burnt the cat, the dog, the house( and I think I even burnt the goldfish) and this is the first letter that I'm writing to you because before I didn't have time as I used to go to school"; instead I could've written: "My nickname is Egg Head; I look like a seven year old; I live in hospital because I have cancer and I never talked to you before as I didn't believe that you exist." If I've written that, I'm sure that you wouldn't show interest in me. And, I need you to show interest in me. In fact , it would be nice if you can do me a favour or two. Let me explain to you. The hospital is a fantastic place, full of adults with a good mood that talk loudly, full of toys to play with and ladies wearing in pink that help children to have fun. I also have friends in hospital that they are always by my side like Bacon, Einstein and Pop Corn. The hospital is great if you're a patient that gives the other people pleasure. I don't give them any pleasure anymore. After the bone marrow transplant, I feel that I'm a disappointment. In the morning, Doctor Düsseldorf examined me and I'm disappointing him all the time. He looks at me without saying a word like I did a mistake. However, I took the operation seriously, I was on my best behaviour, they put me to sleep ,I didn't cry with pain and I took all the medications. Sometimes I feel like screaming infront of Doctor Düsseldorf's face; I tell him that it's maybe because of him ; those big black eyebrows, made the operation not successful. But, he looks so sad that when I try to insult him i feel guilty. The more I see Doctor Düsseldorf sad, the more I feel like it's my fault. I know that I'm a terrible patient, a patient that makes people believe that medicine doesn't work. The way that the doctor thinks about it is contagious. Now, the upper floor; the nurses, student nurses and cleaners, are all seeing me the same way. When I'm in a good mood they all look very sad; they try to force a laugh when I say jokes. We don't joke how we used to before. Only grandma rose stayed the same,she didn't change like the others. I think she's too old to change. God I don't think I have to introduce grandma Rose to you as she's a big friend of yours. In fact , she told me to write to you. The problem is that I only call her Grandma Rose so try to make an effort to see who I'm referring to. She is the oldest one amongst the women wearing a pink robe, which come to hospital spending some time with sick children. "How old are you, Grandma Rosie?"
"Are you capable to remember numbers with 13 digits, my little Oscar?"
"You are exaggerating Grandma Rosie!!"
"I come here illegally. To be a women with a pink robe you have to be a certain age. And I'm far beyond"
"You are expired?" Said Oscar
"Yes"
"Like a yogurt?" "Shhh! Don't shout!!"
"Fine Grandma. I won't say anything."
She is really courageous that she told me this secret about her. But she found the right person. I'm not going to tell anyone even if I find it abit weird how no one ever noticed, when you see all her wrinkles. Another time I got to know another secret about her, and I'm sure you'll know who I'm referring to when I tell you what she told me. We were walking in the garden of the hospital and she stepped on a poop.
"Shit!"
"Grandma Rose why are you swearing?"
"Leave me alone, I talk how I like."
"Grandma!!"
"Hurry up Oscar. We came walking not racing with snails."
When we sat on the bench to chew some sweets, I asked her:
" why do you swear Grandma?"
"It's a habit I got from work, my little Oscar."
" what was your work before?"
"You're not going to believe me Oscar."
"I promise I will."
"A wrestler."
"I don't believe you!"
"A wrestler, I'm telling you! My nickname was the strangler of Languedoc."
From there onwards, when I used to be sad and grandma is sure that no one is hearing us ,she stays narrating to me her big tournaments: the strangler of Languedoc against the butcher of Limousin, the fight that she had for 20 years against Diabolica Sinclair. Diabolica was from Holland and instead of breasts she had bullets and apart from that she won the World Cup against Ulla-Ulla. She was also known as the dog of Büchenwald, she was unbeaten. Not even thighs of steel didn't manage to beat her; she was Grandmas idol when she was a wrestler. The tournaments that Grandma tells me, makes me dream because I imagine old Grandma how she is today on the ring, with a pink robe and unsteady, winning all the other wrestlers which where like Giants. I imagine me instead of her. I feel very strong and that I can win anything. God if with these talents, grandma Rose, you don't manage to know who is Mamie rose you need to stop being God and retire. I was clear right about who she is ay? I'm going back to what concerns me. My transplant was a big disappointment here. The chemo was another disappointment aswell but not that worse because there was still a little bit of hope with the transplant. Now, I have the impression that the doctors don't know what to suggest anymore, I start to pity them. My mum really thinks Doctor Düsseldorf is handsome,but I think that his eyebrows are abit too big, she pretends he's a sad Father Christmas that he doesn't have any gifts anymore to give me in his sack. The atmosphere is getting worse. I talked about this with my friend, Bacon. In fact, his real name is not Bacon but Yves, but we call him Bacon because it suits him well, as he's burnt from head to toe. "Bacon I have the impression that the doctors don't love me anymore, I make them sad."
"What are you saying Egg Head? The doctors always have a whole list of operations that they plan to do for you. I calculated that they promised me six", Said Bacon. "Maybe you inspire them Bacon." "Looks like it." "But why don't they tell me that I'm going to die?" Bacon did like the others at hospital: he came deaf. If at a hospital you say the word "die", no one hears you. There is always perfect silence and everyone changes subject. This thing I tried it with everyone. Except with grandma Rose. So this morning I wanted to see if she also have problems with hearing in this situation. "Grandma Rose, I have the impression that no one is going to tell me that I'm going to die." She looks at me. Is she going to do like everyone else? If you can, strangler of Languedoc, stay strong and open your ears! " Why do you want them to tell you if you already know this,Oscar?" Thank God, she heard me. " Grandma Rose, I have the impression that they invented a hospital different from usual. You pretend that you go to hospital to get better only. While at the same time you go to hospital as well to die. "You're right, Oscar. And I think that we do the same mistake in real life. We forget that life is fragile, delicate and short. We all pretend that we're never going to die. "My operation wasn't successful Grandma Rose? Grandma Rose didn't answer. It was her way how to say yes. When she was sure that I understood, she came near me and asked me: "I didn't tell you anything right? Promise ? "I promise you." We stayed quiet for a few minutes . "Why don't you write to God, Oscar?" "No, not you as well Grandma Rose!" "What, not me aswell?" "Not you aswell! I used to think that you aren't a liar." "I don't lie to you Oscar!" "So why are you talking to me about God? They already fooled me with Father Christmas. Once is enough!!" "Oscar, God isn't like Father Christmas." "Yes. The same thing. Brainwashing and other stupid lies!" "You think that me, the strangler of Languedoc, an ex wrestler who won 160 tournaments from 165 and 43 of them I won them by a knock out, can believe that Father Christmas exists?" "No." " in fact, I don't believe in Father Christmas but I believe in God. That's the thing." Obviously, the story changes totally. "And why do I have to write to God?" "You feel less alone." "Less alone with someone who doesn't exist?" "Convince yourself that he exists." She came near me and bent down, "Everyday that you believe in him, he begins to exist even more. If it persists, he begins to exist for all your life. Then he will help you." "What can I write to him?" "Tell him your thoughts. The thoughts that you don't talk about are heavy thoughts, they take the place of good things and make you weak. If you don't talk, you're going to end up like a dump site of bad and old thoughts." "Ok." "And apart from that, you can pray God for something. Only one thing. You understand?" "Your God isn't worth it, grandma Rose. Aladdin had the right for three wishes from the lamp genie." "One wish everyday is better than three in your whole life right?" "Ok. So I can wish for anything? Toys, sweets, cars...." "No Oscar. God is not Father Christmas. You can only wish for spiritual things." "For what?" "For example: courage and patience." " Ok I'm understanding." "And Oscar, you can also suggest to him to make favors for other people." " Grandma Rose, you have to be stupid, with only one wish everyday; for now I'm going to keep it for myself!" So God in this occasion of the first letter, I showed you that in this type of life here in the hospital, where they are seeing me as an obstacle for medicine and I wish that you explain to me: am I going to get better? Answer me yes or no. It isn't a complicated thing. Yes or no. Erase the wrong answer.

I will write to you tomorrow, kisses,
Oscar

Ps. I don't have your address: what am I going to do ?