Mirror

1

Today we move into our new house in a small town far from that place. The house is big, bigger than the old one, there's enough room for me and my brother and sister to each have our own bedrooms. The house lies in the middle of a typical suburban street much like the old but different in every single way. From my bedroom, you can see down the street towards the forest at the end of the road. I set up my room as I had it once before, posters BluTacked to the walls, double bed in the centre of the wall left of the door. My desk opposite the bed and the wardrobe filled with clothes that no longer fit.

Dinner that night is quiet, it never used to be quiet...and it's all my fault. I did this. If I wasn't stupid enough to listen to them then things would be different. Things'd be better.

I stay quiet and eat my dinner slowly, forcefully. When finished I stay downstairs with my family when really I want to go up to my room and be by myself. But I promised I'd try.

My brother and sister are starting at their school on Monday, but I'm not going to my school for another couple of weeks. I have mixed feelings about returning to school. I want to go but I'm scared of a repeat. I guess this time around I'll just have to keep to myself and stay out of things.

"Alexia, I'm going to meet up with an old friend in town tomorrow, would you like to come with we can make a day of it?" My mum is hesitant with her words...she never used to be. I look over to where she's day on the sofa adjacent to me and nod softly. I need to show her that I'm better. "Okay, we'll be leaving at around 10 in the morning, we can go and get your uniform whilst we're there as well" Her excitement of us going out is obvious and I don't want to ruin it so I fake a small smile.

______

When I wash the next morning I don't look at myself. When I pull on my jeans and jumper I avoid looking at my arms and legs. When I do my makeup I'm forced to look at my face and I cringe. I don't look like myself, I don't resemble anything I used to.
"You ready to leave, sweetheart?" Mum pokes her head around the door. No more locks for me. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute..."

I pull on my boots and grab my bag before going downstairs to meet my mum by the door.
"Arthur! We'll be back around 5 o'clock. Can you sort dinner for Chloé and Connor

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"This is nice! Me and you, going shopping. A nice girly day." My mum chatted one sidedly. I stay quiet. It has been a while since we've done this. Since we've hung out together just us. I've missed my mum.
We walk down the middle of the shopping centre to find an information centre. We've never been here and it'd be helpful if we had a map.
"Um...Mum..." She turns to me almost shocked that I spoke. "Would we....um....be able to...um...maybe get some make up?...please?"
I keep my eyes to the floor only glancing up once. "Are you sure?...it won't be like last time?...you won't try to hide yourself?"
I shake my head vigorously, wanting to dispel any thoughts she had of that ever happening again.
"No! I just want to cover the um....yeah"