And They Found You On The Bathroom Floor

My dearest Gerard,

I'm sorry for being such a burden to you. You deserve so much better than me and I don't wanna keep on dragging you or anyone else down.

When you read this you can't stop me anymore. In fact I'll already be dead.

I know you mean well, but I'm better off dead, believe me.

You'll see that it's the best for all of us. I want you to be happy and you can't be happy with me by your side.

Yet I can't function without you so I have to leave like this.

It may seem hard now but it'll get better eventually.

I'm sure you can find someone new who is better at making you happy than I was.

Now all I have left to say is how much I love you and how thankful I am for the time we spent together.

I wish I could stay and I'm sorry how it ends this way but you have to understand that this is the only way for you to ever be happy and I'm lost already anyways.

In deep eternal love,

Y/N

Gerard's hands started to shake as he put down the letter. He knew he shouldn't have gone out tonight.

As fast as he could he ran up the stairs checking every room. You weren't in the bedroom or in the spare room. You weren't in the hobby room or the livingroom either. The only room left now was the bathroom. He put his handon the door handle and hesitentally pushed it down, scared of what he would find.

He finally pushed the door open and what he saw made him drop down to his knees.

You were lying there on the cold bathroom floor, your lips blue, eyes closed, your pale skin almost matching the white tiling.

No breathing, no heartbeat and no other sign of life either. His gaze fell to a bunch of empty pill bottles that were spread over the floor next to you.

Adrenaline shot through Gerards body, hoping he could get you back to life somehow. First he grabbed your wrist checking for pulse, when he noticed youdidn't have one he tried mouth-to-mouth resusciation, then heartmassage.

Nothing worked.

„Come back to me.", he whispered and his voice cracked as he placed a few kisses all over your cold face.

He picked up your head from the floor slightly and caressed your cheeks with his thumbs.

„Don't you hear me? Come back to me! Please..", he said again, now more eagerly.

You didn't show any reaction.

„Come back!", he nearly yelled now and slapped you across the face. No reaction. He slapped you again, and again... You didn't wake up.

After what seemed like hours he gave up. He finally bursted into tears and collapsed onthe floor next to you.

This wasn't fair.He loved you and now you were gone, forever.

With the last bit of energy he had he pulled your thin, lifeless body in his arms,crying his eyes out for the rest of the night.

Four days later was your funeral. Gerard had put on his best suit and was now in the church along with your family and friends. Most of them cried, Gerard didn't. A lot of them hugged and comforted eachother. Gerard didn't. He simply didn't have the energy to.