i've been going to therapy once a week for almost a year now, my therapist is the mother of one of my classmates, he doesn't know. i remember when he'd sit next to me in philosophy and ask how i was doing and i'd freak out! just vomit up words and sayings i don't say, like for example "oh yeaH! LOVIN LIFE LIVIN IS THE BEST! GET UP WHEN YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN!1! I FEEL FIERCE AND GREAT, I'M SO SUPER DUPER HEALTHY YAY EXERCISE sports! GO PSG!" then i would recompose myself and ask how he was doing. the worst part is that we kissed, at a party and his lips were as soft as rose petals. martin knows, and it isn't cheating when it was part of a truth or dare game. that game was horrible, i had to kiss him, his buff friend and my friend alexandra. but back to therapy...
she's the kind of therapist that doesn't give meds which is a really rare occasion considering that france is the country that sells the most medication , doctors usually give out prescriptions like neighbours on halloween. so when i had started, i was at what i thought was my lowest low and in my head i just wanted her to give me meds so i could function like an everyday human being, but that was me being overly dramatic, i mean my lowest low was like a month ago maybe (idk time isn't real).
but she's really nice and supportive of my work, i remember showing her one of my recent paintings and she fell in love with it and she tells me i'll do great things... etcétéra...
the only problem i have with her and why i've been avoiding her is because during my last session (maybe two months ago...?) she told me she was very worried about me and that in her opinion i wasn't mentally stable and strong to handle uni and she wants to talk about it with my dad, i haven't told her about how my dad is or about thomas. and i've barely mentioned martin, basically i've stayed away from any male-related subjects, even though she has mentioned that she thinks my dad might be emotionally abusive, no shit. she also wants me to open up about things i've been hiding from him etcétéra...
i had been meaning to message her and get it all over with but i kept on forgetting then thinking i had done it and she messaged me today, so we'll see.. i guess.
