Changed [Watty Awards 2013]

25. Baby

I looked at the stove and saw it was around twelve in the afternoon. That meant that Matt had already left for the airport and didn’t even say goodbye.

I sighed and made a sandwich. As I was halfway through it, Nick can down the stairs looking like he was knocking on death’s door. His blue eyes lost all emotions and his tanned skin looked pale. He also had facial hair on his cheeks and bags under his eyes.

When he saw me he tried to smile but it looked strained. I didn’t blame him for looking like this. I knew I felt horrible and probably looked the same too.

What Kyle said that night was true—it was my fault that Jared’s dead. If I hadn’t joined the Pack, he would still be alive and I could’ve defeated Noah by myself. I felt like I didn’t need the Pack anymore and I was just causing more pain than what we’re dealing. We were feeling the wrath of Noah full force and Noah was feeling our wrath by half that amount.

I nodded my head at Nick and waved for him to take a seat. He reached up into a cupboard and grabbed a coffee mug that Emily gave him as a birthday present—the man was definitely easy and cheap to shop for. He poured coffee into the mug and sat down across from me.

We just stared at each other in silence.

“So…” Nick cleared his throat, “Matt told me to tell you that he’ll call you when he’s at the ACC.” He checked his watch on his wrist. “Which should be in a few minutes. He left at nine.”

I nodded and stood up to put my plate in the sink. “I’m sorry, Nick.”

He raised an eyebrow. “For?”

I sat down in front of him again. “Everything.”

“Look,” he leaned forward and grabbed my hand in his. “Jared’s death wasn’t your fault. I don’t care what Kyle said to you, it isn’t. Mom and Dad aren’t mad at you and Jared wouldn’t want you to wallow in pity.”

I shook my head. “Not just because of Jared—”

“Then what?” He raised both eyebrows in surprise. “There’s nothing else to be sorry for, Delilah.”

“I’m sorry for leaving you,” I closed my eyes. “I broke your heart and I’m so, so sorry for that.”

I opened my eyes as I felt Nick’s hand let go of mine. His eyes were focused on the table as if it held the answers for all of life’s biggest problems. I could tell that I struck a sore spot. Looking at Nick, I now realized that Kyle was right—I did break his heart and he was upset whenever he saw me with Matt.

I looked at him for a while longer. He eventually sighed and looked up at me.

“It’s not okay, I’m not going to lie. You found your mate though and there’s nothing I can do to control that. I really wish it was me, but it’s not and I respect that.” He sighed again. “My mate is somewhere out there and when I find her, I’ll get over you. Because I’m not over you, Delilah, no matter how much I tell myself otherwise.”

Hearing him admit to what Kyle had told me made me feel even worse. Reason number two to leave the Pack.

I opened my mouth to apologize again but he held up a hand. “Don’t even apologize again. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Personally, I’d like to just kill Noah and get this all over with.” He looked me in my eyes as he said, “the past is in the past.”

My phone started ringing and I pulled it out of my pocket. “Hello?”

“Hey, baby, sorry I didn’t say goodbye.” Matt’s deep voice called from the other end.