What am I doing? I kept asking myself even though I am taking every step closer to where he is. This is perfectly wrong. I smirked at myself for being a great example of a hypocrite. My heels clicking are the only sound I heard despite of all these thoughts swimming through my head.
I can still stop, turn back and then go home. I think this idea had crossed my mind already like five times but somewhere deep down something is still telling me to go.
I stopped and smiled as I found him waiting in the corner and he smiled back at me.
We went to a place where lovers go to show their love, where affairs usually take place, where originally it's just a place where you can spend the night.
My hands were shaking as if it's my first time entering this kind of place, as if my essence as a women hasn't been taken yet.
We didn't take our time and did what was planned to be done. I saw how he can be a man compared to his usual self that is always quite and reserved. I saw how can he be so hungry, fast and rough.
I showed him how I can be not that innocent and good in doing things which he mostly enjoyed.
Time had passed and we are done. No turning back. A few hours of fun that would cost a relationship. His and mine.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked and I kind of smirked. he is just going to ask this now after all this.
"I really don't know. I am really happy with him." I smiled to him.
"You're happy with him yet you are sucking someone else's dick."
I flinched. Something is wrong. Maybe. I am just not ready to admit it. Maybe. I am what's wrong in my relationship. Maybe. I still haven't found whoever it is I am supposed to be with. Maybe.
