I was trying so hard not to lose it. The man I feel in love with was marrying my cousin. And as bad as it sounded, it was the reality of my life. Day in and day out. No one knew, but I could tell he did. The way he'd look at me every now and then. He'd give me a smirk then return his gaze back to the woman before him. The woman I desperately wanted to be.
"Is there anyone here who thinks this man should not be with this woman, please stand now or forever hold your peace." The pastor's words broke me out of my train of thought.
" I do." The voice in my head seemed to be speaking for me. And before I could protest I was standing. My mind was screaming this was so wrong. But my body wasn't listening. I heard the loud gasp come out of everyone's mouth as a hand came flying to my own. I looked around at everyone staring at me and I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. All I could think of was running.
And that's what I did. I ran as fast as the heels I was wearing would let me. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew it had to be somewhere far.
Getting into my car, I started the ignition and sped out of the parking lot. Shortly after, I found myself pulling into a trail that led to a beautiful cliff over looking the whole city. I got out, grabbing my phone out of my purse. I quickly turned it off before anyone could bombarded me with calls and texts. I then grabbed a blanket from my backseat before preceding out of my car.
Almost and hour or two later, I heard foot steps approaching. I looked back to find the one person I'd been dreading. Devin.
"Nice to see you here." I rolled my eyes.
"Devin please. Now is not the time" I wasn't in the mood to deal with him. He already broke my heart. And I knew he was only here to break it more. He was always blunt with whatever he said. And I knew the words that were gonna come out his mouth wouldn't boost my mood.
"Now is the fucking time!" I flinched at the volume his voice had reached. "You don't go to someone's wedding and do some fucked up shit like that! I told you we weren't gonna work out! I'm in love with Amira." he paused, putting his head in his hands. "We got carried away one too many times and I'm sorry for leading you on, but I don't love you. I never have, and I never will." I closed my eyes tight letting the tears fall. I couldn't hold them anymore.
The man I'd let have all of me wanted nothing to do with me. The man I'd let break down every single wall I had built to protect myself was slowly but surely helping me build another one. The man I gave my heart to was breaking it into millions of pieces.
For maybe 10 or so minutes I sat on the ground crying my eyes out. That's all I was good for I see. Chasing after men who were unavailable. Who would never leave a happy home. Who would never leave their wives although they promised that one day they will, but never got to that point. Then finally realizing it and crying my eyes out until I couldn't anymore.
I looked up at Devin, who was also crying. Why? I don't know. He wasn't the one hurting. He wasn't the one wishing God would just end their life because it seemed like they'll never be loved. He had everything for going for his self! He had an amazing career, knew where he would be in 10 years, plus he was basically a millionaire.
Growing angry I stood up. Slowly I walked over to him. I looked at him with the most disgusting face I could muster up. "How dare you sit here and cry? Huh?! You're not the one hurting because she gave her all to a fúcking shit head who didn't deserve her! You're not the one feeling like shit because she fell for her own cousins fiancée! Then got pregnant by him. You d-don't know how it f-feels to l-love s-someone who will n-never l-love you b-back! You d-don't-" I stopped myself. The tears started flowing again. I realized that he didn't even care. He was still going to marry Amira.
I turned away from him. Feeling my mouth water. And everything I'd eaten the whole day came right back up. Wiping my mouth, I walked to my car. I didn't need to be here anymore. Before getting into the car I heard Devin saying something.
"Me and Amira are going to the court house tomorrow..."
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
THE END ...
Wow 829 words. Feels like I rushed the end but, excuse the mistakes. This is my very first one. So tell me what you think. - MacMoney ❤️
