Hell Week

My feet hit the water and in seconds we are treading our way through the thick, freezing ocean. Small waves hit us, threatening to push us back but we stand our ground and move on.

We finally get waist deep in the water and jump onto the boat and grab our oars. The next wave is still far out and we should have enough time to dodge it.

"Paddle!" Frank commands.

Water sprays against my face, causing the mud from earlier to drip into my eyes. I try to ignore it but my vision is becoming blurry and uncomfortable no matter how many times I blink. I pause paddling to wipe it away but those seconds cost us. The wave seems to be coming at us faster than before, rising higher and higher.

It's one of the larger waves, at least a seven footer.

I paddle harder. My arms strain against the fabric of my uniform, knocking against my life vest. My muscles burn and even though we are using all of our might, it doesn't seem to be working.

The adrenaline is still coursing through my body, I feel invincible. We can do this.

The wave begins to crest.

"We aren't going to make it! Brace yourselves for impact." Yells Frank.

Crap. We trained for this, we know what to do. This shouldn't scare us but my confidence from a second ago seems to have vanished and now I feel uneasy.

The boat begins to tip as the wave swallows us along with the morning light. I grip the side of the boat as it flips and we are thrown toward the water.

My stomach drops as if I'm on a roller coaster. I hit the water with such impact that it knocks the breath right out of me. I am so disoriented I can't tell which way is up.

Then a searing pain tears through my skull. I don't have any time to register what's happening. The wave pulls me under, taking me with it. I try to breath but can't and water fills my lungs.

I'm scared.

—

My head hurts. It really hurts.

My eyes crack open and the pain in my head is instantly amplified by a harsh light shining into my eyes. I feel soft fabric under me, a bed? How did I get here? What happened? It takes me a second but then I remember, the wave, falling, and then nothing.

"What the—" I say as my eyes finally adjust to my surroundings. I'm in a hospital room. White, sterile, with three empty beds next to mine.

"Andrew, welcome back. You gave us all a scare."

Instructor Jefferson is standing beside my bed, looking down at me with concern in his eyes.

"What..." My throat feels like it's coated in sandpaper. "What happened?"

The inside of my head feels foggy and my memories seem to move in slow motion.

"Your team got pummeled by a wave. You were in shallow enough water that you hit your head on a rock and gave yourself a nice concussion. Luckily Frank and Kevin got to you in time." There was a dense pause. He wasn't telling me something.

"Am I be cleared to continue training? I feel fine, just give me some painkillers and I'll be good to go."

"Son, I wish that could be the case but there are rules. I hate to do this to you, I really do, but we are going to have to postpone your training. You will be able to pick back up with the next class in the Spring."

My heart feels heavy as lead in my chest.

"No, this can't be happening." My hands bunch the sheets beneath me. I want to punch something. I've tried to do everything right just to fail.

"Andrew, this happens all the time. You are just on medical leave. I'm sorry this happened, I really am. You are a very promising soldier don't let this bring you down. Let it make you stronger."

"Does this mean in the spring I'll have to do hell week all over again?" I ask.

"You'll start again where you left off here. Day two of hell week, better than day one at least."

This, by no means, is an ideal situation. I was so motivated, so convinced that this was my time to become the man I want to be. Make my family proud and serve my country. I know this isn't my fault but I can't help but think, what if. Could I have stopped this from happening? Was there anything I could do?

No. I can't think like this. I don't want to live with "what if's". I want to be better and so I will.

"I'll see you in a few months, Sir."