So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 43: Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

Claude held up his ever useful cellphone.

"I just texted Sammy and they'll be here any minute."

"Oh Sammy's here too?" Beatrice looked delighted and pulled out a knife from the holster on the back of her belt. "Looks like we're having a party!"

"Beatrice, can you please not be homicidal for just a short while?" I asked. Beatrice turned and stalked over into my face, knife in hand but I didn't back down, no matter how intimidated I was.

"Do you know what makes me really homicidal, Bob? When people tell me that I'm fucking homicidal! That's not how you calm people down, but I guess you would know that if you actually gave a shit about other people and not just your own precious feelings."

I was about to launch a retort that would have gotten me into so much more trouble with the homicidal woman in front of me, but a cooler head than mine prevailed.

"Back off Beatrice," Jaime called out. "Now isn't the time."

"Then please tell me when. When is ever a good time? Huh? What is wrong with you Bob? Can you tell me that? I'm damaged goods, we both know that, but you and I are connected. We have a thing between us that is so hard to define and all I want is for you and me to have a chance to see that that really is. But you keep stalling and stalling and lying to me..."

"You scare the shit out of me!"

Beatrice actually looked hurt. She turned and walked away from me, twirling her knife absent-mindedly, obviously having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. Jaime was on her feet now, cautiously circling around Beatrice for when things got violent. Beatrice caught sight of her and pointed, smiling, not smiling, smiling again, emotions running through her.

"I saved her for you! You asked me to save the love of your life, which tore my heart into pieces and you know what? I did it. I fucking did it. I even gave her the blood on one of the oldest vampires we know about, because if I was going to save her then she needed to be good enough for you."

Claude silently lost his shit.

"Oh shit..."

"I did this for you and then she didn't even want it, and she didn't want it, because she didn't want you. Here I am throwing myself at you and the woman you're willing to go to the ends of the earth for, doesn't even want you. You know what that makes me think Bobby?"

"Fuck you Beatrice," I said, but it was more of a whisper than anything else.

"I think maybe I'm worth more than that. But then again, I'm just the crazy bitch in the room, am I right?"

She swung at me then, the knife plunging towards my chest, but it was far from Beatrice's best effort and I grabbed her hand easily enough; the knife tumbled down to the ground after a token resistance and Beatrice slumped against me.

I admit that I was frozen in a complete panic since this was completely out of the realm of any kind of our normal interactions and Beatrice showing this kind of weakness and being so vulnerable was just so wrong. How was I supposed to react? She wasn't a normal girl even when she was being sane and you could feel the years of her experience just by being around her, so you really gotta excuse me when all I could do was look at Claude and Jaime for some kind of instruction in what the fuck to do. Did I hug her, pat her on the back and say "there, there" or some stupid shit, or did I back away from the crazy chick before I ended up being used as a handy place for Beatrice to store her knives?

I opted for just holding my hand out to the side and waited for this, whatever this was, to be over.

I wasn't sure what was happening at first, and actually thought that she was laughing, laughing at me for the stupid look on my face and I was going to concede that yes, my face was particularly stupid and that she had gotten to me, was ever beginning to laugh along with her, but then it changed and it occurred to me that it was something else happening.