It's always right in front of you. Then it hits you in the face. (unfinished)

It was looking like a good summer. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, flowers were blooming… The previous winter I had signed up for a day camp that my parents found, and suddenly- here I was. It was a small camp, and honestly I can’t think of a different word than ‘friendly’ to describe it. Not many people, but the ones who were there were great. The director of the camp, Lisa, she knew everyone’s name (even mine, surprisingly), and wouldn’t hesitate to greet you and ask how you were doing.

The first day I was scared, I’ll admit it. I was scared to go on a bus (really a van) for the first time; I was scared to go to a new camp for the first time. In a matter of hours, however, I had already found my niche. It wasn’t hard, and soon I found myself becoming—could it be—popular? It was a feeling I was not used to, and I loved it. I loved walking past people and saying hi to them, and feeling like I knew everyone and everyone knew me.

I remember the day I met Dan, ‘same name as my brother,’ I thought. He was medium height and frightfully skinny, like a twig that’s been stretched out and thinned. Lanky, yes, and he had not quite grown into an adult face yet. I’d never really encountered him before, but I’d heard a lot about him. The “weird kid”; the kid no one really liked. He was too energetic, too happy; too outgoing, too funny looking, his voice was too high-pitched. I was standing on the hill right behind the pool and slightly to the side of the office. I could already tell he was different. The way he talked, the way he smiled, he was foreign to me.

We were never introduced formally, rather I knew who he was and vice versa. There was no need.

I was on the hill with my best camp friend, Phoebe, and was holding my cell phone. At the time I had an iPhone, which was somewhat new, and everyone always loved playing around with it. He came right up to me and snatched my phone right out of my hands.

Being the somewhat awkward child I am, I had no idea what on earth he was doing. I was momentarily frozen, unsure of whether I should chase after him or simply ignore it. Maybe this was his way of saying hello.

When he returned it, his number had been saved into my contacts and he had promptly texted himself so that he would have my number too.

Of course, I found this all a bit odd, considering I had never even had a conversation with him. Wasn’t it supposed to go the other way?

I don’t think I talked to him during that summer, or at least not in person.

But we texted.

It was weird, I’d barely ever talked to the kid, but we texted as if we’d been friends since birth. I don’t know why, exactly, but I was able to tell him everything. No detail left behind in my descriptions of events; there was nothing I felt needed to be hidden from him.

We quickly became friends, I would describe us as very close friends, and even though we barely ever saw each other in person, we stayed close. His house was 30 minutes away from mine, so seeing each other was hard, but we texted consistently.

Throughout the summer I was dating a boy who went to my school, Rom. We had an instant connection the moment we met, and promptly started dating. The summer was rough, with him being away at sleepaway camp for six weeks and me being at camp for 2 weeks and then Cape Cod for another 2 weeks.

I remember texting Dan all summer, telling him all about Rom, fawning over him really. I guess that’s why I didn’t really notice how obvious it was that Dan was completely and utterly infatuated with me.

It sounds stupid, and I know exactly what you’re thinking, as you snort and roll your eyes, you’re thinking: Honestly, how could you not know that someone was totally in love with you? I mean, it’s got to be blatantly obvious if he was “utterly infatuated” with you. Come on. But I’m telling you straight from the heart, I did not notice. I guess I was so wrapped up in my fourteen-year-old-romance that I overlooked the way Dan would always add a smiley face after he would say “hey,” or the way he would endlessly comfort me when I complained about not seeing Rom. I guess I was just being selfish. When he finally confessed his love for me (okay, so I’m being a tad dramatic: he didn’t ever say “love” and he wasn’t exactly forthcoming or elegant about it either), it was when I was not really able to think of my feelings. In fact, I think I shut him down without even wondering what it would be like: to date Dan. And now that I do, I suppose I regret it a bit. I regret that I probably hurt him, and I regret that I never gave him a chance. Although, in my defense, he couldn’t have chosen a worse time. I was still dating Rom, and had actually recently started crushing on someone else a bit, Cam. I hope I don’t sound like such an awful person, because really I’m not, I was just very hormonal and very into boys.