HIDDEN

PROLOGUE

October 31, 2002

Early in the morning of the 31st of October I awoke from a nap at 9AM with wet feeling and later found bubbles of blood. Thinking that something must be terribly wrong I called out among the relatives and housemaids. The maid who was tending at the laundry cried for help.

Several minutes later the Midwife Mrs. Laganzon arrived with her box of instruments examining me by her cold fingers and later stated that its normal for the blood before I start my labor. My labor pains commenced on the morning afterwards; but this time for medical reason I have to give birth in lying -in clinic or hospital but I refused to do both. I refused to be moved and witnessed by strangers, crowds and other curious souls. Both families agreed for a midwife to attend and check on me on the first few trimesters and now assigned to tend on me.

A few days earlier relatives from both parties arrived, informed by the impending of a child that would strengthen the ties of our families. My grandmother who was at her 80's unsuspectingly calm and collected, getting everyone's cooperation to follow her instructions on what to do and what to get inspite the Midwife on hand, she wanted to inject and follow the traditional way of giving birth which confused everyone around whether to boil an egg or not or what food to prepare for me, the aromas, the grass. I was asked to walk around the lawns and although my back pain started to feel uncomfortable that the only thing I wanted was to lie down but I was there to follow the elders. My hands and feet felt cold, my heart beat fasts. The pains of labor continued until the night.

The next day without much rest and my eyes sunk visible of brown traces around my eyes, rivets of perspiration and tears coursing down my face, as I stifled every urge to cry out, despite terrifying and sometimes horrifically intense of pain. I could just imagine the admonishment I might have received from the Mother-in-law. "It is not common for the woman to scream during childbirth."

I was again tasked to walk and for every wave of pains I hugged trees I could imagine moving each of them by the strength I was making each minute. Dawn broke across the breezy parterres. My stomach lurched from the spices and aromas from both kitchen. My head ached from their myriad conversations. The room grew silent as the midwife examined me. My modesty shielded only by a white tented sheet and told me that the second stage of my labor had come to an end. Soon the contractions should resume and it would be the time to push the infant to the world.

By the time the clock struck 3PM on November 2 the contractions began to grow further apart. Then it resumed and I felt the baby's head moving inside me. At 19 years of age, my body felt so weak. I can see the sweaty forehead of my grandmother and Mrs. Laganzon with the worrisome on their faces. Some of the relatives that wanted to watch almost climbing the furniture to get a better view of the happenings. By then my body was spent after so many hours enduring the pains of labor with not so much as a sound, I felt as though I could not continue. "Push!" They urged.  I tried with all my might. Grandmother gave me lemon to sip, applied cool compresses on my forehead but the soft bedchamber only grow warmer and more stifling. The clock chimed 5PM a few minutes later Mrs. Laganzon announced to the families that the baby's head was crowing. I wish to not be informed by these. The crowd moved closer almost near the bed, I felt suffocated. The midwife asked me to push harder than ever, but the embroidered  ceilings atop my bed started to look blur and the hanging plant above my bed seemed to falling on me. There were too many people I wanted them all to go away. I became nauseous and wish to vomit.

But I had been born and arranged at 15 years old  to marry at 18 with a single goal of uniting a family and to end the poverty in the second generation. Finally at the age of 19 it is happening to produce that foundation. Pushing with my last bit of strength as the infant emerged I saw Ric's face, his pale face covered with concern. I remembered my two years with him, seeing his different faces. And a lot of times a face of a demon, relentless sarcasm, I remembered him with horror, my tremble of shock. But with this child he promised to me and to the clan that he would change. He promised never to touch me with violence. I saw his arm extending towards me, but he didn't reach me. Instead, I seemed to be receding as everything went dark.