Shut Up and Talk

Chapter 15

The season drew to an end, my first year of international racing finished. Well, not that I'd done any international racing, but I'd done a lot of international travelling and was well versed in the daily activities that made up Ian's life. I became accustomed to the constant attention to detail, perfected the art of bullshitting and accepted the magnitude of back-stabbing. My new life was exactly like my old life just a different setting.

The season ended in Japan where Paul was mobbed by fans. I finally met his girlfriend Tani when he brought her to dinner one night. The slight woman barely uttered a word to Ian or me. She smiled meekly and nodded all through the meal. When she and Paul spoke to each other in Japanese, it infuriated Ian. He'd fidget and glare at Paul who seemed oblivious.

If I hadn't known Tani was his girlfriend, I'd have guessed she was a business associate or acquaintance. They didn't touch one another, not even a kiss when she'd arrived. They spoke loudly in Japanese and when silence fell over the table, they'd stare out at other patrons like two uninspiring statues.

At one point Ian turned to me, his hands clenched into fists.

"I know, don't bother," I said, reading his mind. I turned to Paul and Tani. "Thank you for a lovely evening, but we have to leave. Ian's anxious to show me his thing and if he doesn't do it soon, he'll explode."

Tani nodded vigorously and Paul gave a small wave.

"If I don't show you my thing, I'll explode?" Ian asked as we walked back to our hotel.

"It's the first thing that popped into my head."

"Isn't she irritating?"

"How did she irritate you? She didn't do anything."

"All that talking in Japanese. It wasn't polite."

This coming from the King of Politeness.

"No more dinners with the two of 'em. Got that!"

#

Pino Masi took the checkered flag and the championship in the final race. A huge celebration was held and Ian insisted we all attend. I was, in Ian's words, 'bolloxed' and was propositioned by an equally inebriated Jamie Spencer. Ian, my faithful chaperone, put an end to any budding union by waving him off and taking me back to the hotel. I spent half the night over a toilet throwing up.

I flew to Toronto for Christmas and New Year's. Laura noted the change in my physical appearance. I'd worked hard for my new look, or should I say starved for it. Between late night workouts and attention to diet, I had reached the coveted UK size eight and on a good day, size six.

"You've lost weight," she said.

"Twelve pounds," I said proudly.

"You looked fine before. Why did you lose weight?"

Ah, the jealousy. "Because I wanted to."

"You look a little sickly."

At least Laura was a consistent bitch.

"It's not like I'm starving myself. I'm simply not indulging."

I could've mistaken the slight shake of her head as concern, but she wanted me to be the fat one. Now I was not only the successful one, but the skinny one too. I had a job that paid me more money than I could have imagined, famous people all around, and I lived a life she could only dream of. I loved my job, but I'd grown dependent on Ian and that scared me. What would I do without him? I hadn't allowed myself to think about how dangerous his career was and that one day it could all end and he'd leave me all alone. Again.