Bucket List

Getting Started

Pulling out my math binder I smiled at the few of my friends that looked up and then headed in the opposite direction towards my class. On my way I spotted a flyer that I found rather interesting. It was one done by the student council asking for volunteers for the haunted house that our school would be hosting on Halloween night. My bucket list immediately flashed in my mind and I smiled. Time to get started.

Picking a pen out of my binder I wrote my name down on the list for actors. Happy that I was gonna get a chance to start my list.

"Hey." I said smiling brightly at my friend Anna as I took a seat down next to her.

"Hey." she smiled back making room for me between her and Emily. They were probally the two that I was closest with out of our entire group of friends, and Sophia even though I don't see her as much anymore.

"What's up?" I asked curiously noticing their excited smiles.

"You now Caleb right?" Sophia asked budging on the conversation and ignoring the one she'd just been having with Katherine.

"Yeah I know him." I replied pulling my sandwich out of my bag.

"Well his parents are out of town for the week so he's having a huge party tonight, basically everyone's invited."

"Oh cool...can I come?" I felt a little akward asking, I wasn't to into inviting myself to things.

"Yeah of course! Everyone's invited remember?" Sophia laughed, giving me a warm smile before turning to talk with Katherine again.

"Okay so come by my house at like 5:00." Emily was saying, leaning around me so she could talk to Anna.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked curiously, taking a bite into me sandwhich.

"Oh well me and Anna are getting ready for Caleb's party together." Emily said.

"Oh cool..." I know that I wasn't part of these plans originally but it still kind of hurt a bit that I wasn't invited, I think Emily noticed which only made me feel worse.

"You can come to Lucy." she said and I looked over to see her smileing at me.

"You sure?" I asked wanting to give her a way out if that was what she wanted,

I didn't want her to feel obligated, but she just nodded with that kind smile still on her face.

"Yeah of course. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come anyway." that made me feel a little better and I nodded.

"Cool you can come over like right after school."

"Yeah I'm down with that." I said stupidly which made both of us laugh. I guess I was going to this party after all.

The school day couldn't have gone by any slower, but now it was thankfully over and I could go to Emily's.

I left my mom a message letting her know that I wasn't coming home tonight and headed out. Emily always took the bus home since her mom worked late which ment we didn't have to worry about getting caught tonight. There was most likely alcohol involved tonight and it wasn't like we wanted her to know that.

"Anna's coming over after dance then we can go." Emily said as we stepped off the bus.

"Sound's good." I mumbled keeping my eyes down on my feet.

"Hey are you okay? You've been really out of it like all day." she said.

Crap. I'd really been hopeing no one would notice, I just couldn't really keep my mind off the cancer, everywhere I looked something reminded me of the fact that I didn't have much time left. I over across the street to see a mom walking down the sidewalk with a stroller and next to her stood a little boy who couldn't be older than four. It reminded me that I would never get to have children, it wasn't like I was crazy about having kids now. But one day I would have liked to have been a mom, that wasn't gonna happen now. I geuss the disapiontment and sadness that I had been feeling had showed through enough for Emily to see.

The only question now was would I tell her? I had the perfect opportunity now and Adrain was right I didn't have loads of time left. I needed to tell someone soon, but could I tell Emily?

I wanted to, I really did. We'd been best friends forever and she was the first person that I wanted to know. I just didn't if now was the right time but I guess there never would really be a right time.

"Um actually there is something that I need to tell you." I said not meeting her green eyes.

"Okay what is it?" she asked.

"Uh...I can't tell you...here."

"Alright.." she said slowly looking slightly confused.

"I'll tell you when we get back to your house." was all I said before letting us fall into silence.

The wheels were turning in my head while inthiught of a way to try and explain this to her. I could always just back out and leave it for, but the closer we got to her house the more I realized that I really did want her to know.

"Okay so what's up?" she asked as soon as we were in her bedroom. She took a seat down on her bed and I sat down beside her, looking her straight in the eye.

"You can't tell anyone promise?" that was I decided to start, I didn't want her going around and telling everyone, I wanted to do this at my own pace even though I knew Emily wouldn't tell anyone unless I told her to.

"I promise I won't tell anyone." she agreed, waiting patiently for me to speak.

This was it, not knowing any other to way to really explain I took. A deep breath and just blurted out the words. "I have cancer."

Her eyes widened and she didn't say anything. Just sat there taking it all in, it didn't take her long to recover though.

"You have what?" okay never mind.

"I have leukemia...I was diagnosed with it when I was really young. Before I met you." I explained.

"And why am I just hearing about this now?" she demanded sounding slightly annoyed but very very upset.

I'd been expecting a question like that and I knew exactly what I wanted my answer to be. "I know I souls have told you sooner but...I didn't want your guy's sympathy. I didn't want your opinion to change about me because I'm sick."

"Lucy your one of my best friends it dosent matter to me that your sick just as long as your okay." she said giving me a hug.

"Well see that's the reason I'm telling you." now here comes the hard part. "I'm not okay, I haven't been responding to treatment...and...and things aren't looking to good." I could feel my eyes pooling with tears now.

"How so?" she asked her eyes betraying the anxiety she most likely felt with the news I was giving her. No one ever really wanted to hear that their friend was going to die.

"They've..." I had to swallow to keep my voice from breaking. "They've given me a year Emily." the tears were streaming down my cheeks now and I could see some filling in Emily's eyes to.

"A year?" she choked out. I nodded, unable to use my voice while a sob escaped my lips.

"Lucy!" she cried out wrapping her arms tightly around me and pulling me into a warm embrace. I hugged her back just as hard, almost as if I was clinging onto her for dear life while I cried against her shoulder as she did mine.

"This isn't right! I don't want you to go!" she sobbed holding onto me even tighter.

"I know! I don't want to go either!" I said holding tightly onto my best friend while we both cried into each others arms.