Dirty Limericks and Other Bits

Appropriately Inappropriate Humor (1)

Donuts and Grapes

Mr. and Mrs. Sampson were having marital issues. Despite a deep love for one another, the spark simply wasn't there. So, in the hope of rekindling the magic, the two scheduled a session with a well renown sex therapist, Dr. Andrews. 

After a vigorous series of questions, physical examinations, and conversation, the good Doctor believed he had a solution for the couple. 

"I think what you two need is spice, something fun and different you two haven't tried before," he said. "I want you to try a game for me. After this session, go to the market and purchase some donuts, the good ones with a decent sized hole, and grapes. Go home, relax, take a shower together, and then play a game. Have your wife try to ring toss those donuts onto penis and if she makes it, she'll eat them off. Likewise, have her sit with her legs spread while you try to roll grapes into her vagina to eat in turn."

The Sampsons thought it was an odd game but followed the doctor's orders. The results were miraculous. After a few nights of messy, giggling, 'sessions' the two felt a level of comfort and physical intimacy they'd never achieved before. They felt so happy over their successful sessions that over a casual dinner with their long time friends, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, they spilled the secret of going to Dr. Andrews. 

As they left that evening, Mr. and Mrs. Jones talked about visiting Dr. Andrews themselves on the drive home, wondering if they too could reclaim their own heat in the bedroom. The two discreetly scheduled an appointment and soon found themselves sitting across from a rather puzzled looking Dr. Andrews. After the same round of questions, pokes and prods, the good doctor looked at a loss for words.

"I'm afraid I can't help you," he said.

The couple were shocked. They pleaded with the doctor, citing the success he had with their friends the Sampsons. After an awkward pause, the doctor cleared his throat and relented.

"Alright, after this session, I want you to go to the market and buy some Cheerios and Oranges."