She had looked like the last emerald leaf left in the fiery shallows of autumn. But now, still like a crystal lake, the tears still alive on her concrete cheeks, she was like the tree skeletons that lined the edge of the charred mountains. The scarlet river of her veins flooded her chest, the cold ruby tsunami staining not only the perfect drapes of her t shirt but the deeper trenches in my mind. Her eyes, ever so sincere, ever so hollow, are still drowned in fear, even after the pain is gone. This isn't the first time I have had to watch the stars turn to stone, to see the daisies wilt. I swipe my fingers along the dashboard, the dust that tingles my finger is ignited by the flaring moonlight. Her skin was almost as blue as her eyes, her silence almost as loud as her scream. Her eyes were always her strongest weapon. Sharper than a knife, softer than a cloud, they were the cynical shadows of the ocean and the purest of angels in the heavens above. I always used to get lost inside the mineral waves. I look down at her now, her sandy locks like paint strokes around her shoulders. Its like she was her own tombstone, like her name was written upon her forehead, grass sprouting between her toes. I glance at the rear view mirror and see someone peering through the car, they sure do look like me. Razor sharp black hair, rusty brown eyes, chapped lips, but then, something not so familiar. I look down at my hands and see it. Blood, her blood. It's like the petrol to my fire, that metallic scent the air in my lungs. The metal weapon in my guilty hands, the same hands I used to hold her with, is sharper than her words. This is the voice inside my head, the devil on my shoulder, and it is great to finally be free. I glance out the window and only see faint spangles of luminescence upon the wheat fields that continued to sway gingerly, as if the the deadly dance between them had ended so raw and grisly.
"Goodnight." I hush into one ear, letting each ripple of sound settle like a pebble in a pond.
I gently slip out of the car, blowing a kiss and imagining it curdling her lips. I once again catch my reflection, this time in the car window. My right eye twitches, and if only for a second, I see them both flash crimson. My bottom lip trembles, an earthquake of regret.
I'm so sorry.
I reach into my jeans' pocket and pull out a match and a lighter. I flicker the lighter on and off, watching as the face of my innocence disappear with each flame. Its like each layer of my mask is melting off, leaving the insane grazed skin behind it to pierce the night. I swipe my hand across the side of the car and feel the gooey petrol nip at my skin. I release the match, letting it flutter towards the secrets of the twilight. Then, the beauty glorifies before my eyes. Flames lick at the cool breeze as they glaze the car. Even as the flames burn down my world, her world, everything around me continues. The wheat still swayed gently to the song of the sorrow. Although now, I feel frozen into the artwork in front of me. The heat tickled my senses. The waterfalls of flames and smoke sunk down into the road below. Burning rubber filled the air, but I knew the only thing turning to ash there was the truth, the razor sharp truth.
She was a sweet girl, she really was.
If only she had learnt to keep her mouth shut.
