Red Cloak/Red Mantle (Aka Manto)

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Let's assume for a moment that you, like many, enjoy the basic human function of going to the bathroom. Perhaps you've had a few too many servings of sake and make a mad dash for the ladies toilets closest to you. This article assumes you are either a lady yourself or one of those beloved perverts so popular to the Japanese culture.

As you enter the bathroom and try to avoid physical contact between your ass and the scurvy-infested toilet sear, you suddenly hear a voice.

"Do you like the red cloak or do you like the blue cloak?"

After sitting uncomfortably for a few seconds, wondering what possessed someone to break the cardinal rule of keeping their mouths shut during toilet-time, you answer with hesitation:

"The Red Cloak!"

According to your answer, there are a variety of hilarious outcomes: If you answered "Red Cloak", you will be sliced apart like a steakhouse special. According to who is telling the story, your throat may be cut, your hands chopped off, or you will simply be cut into pieces until the blood flowing down your fricasseed remains resembles a "red cloak".

Well Shit! You may be thinking, I'll just answer "blue cloak" then!

Good idea, captain. Now take a deep breath! You're going to need it when the life is being slowly strangled out of you. The result leaves your humorously tongue-lolled face a strong blue. Thus, the "blue cloak".

Sitting in your stall and ruminating on your options, you may be wondering which of these two you prefer? Well fear not, intrepid Cracked reader! Due to the foresight of reading this article, you are well prepared! According to some variations of this legend, choosing a third color or choosing "neither" will spare you a gruesome death...or cause the very earth to open under you and swallow you alive.

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