How to be a Robber

Rule No.1

So this first rule is quite basic- THOU SHALT STEAL!  It doesn't get any simpler than that.  I'm not an undercover cop waiting to bust you down. So don't worry just do your thing.  There is only one exception that I have to add- DON'T STEAL FROM YOUR MOMMA!  Mothers always seem to know what you are up to ever since you started sticking your hands in cookie jars when you were in diapers; unless you were the innocent child, then maybe you can get off the hook with this one.  

For me, I was an only child raised by a thief for a mother.  She taught me how to shop lift, how to break into houses, how to break into cars, and how to make a clean getaway.  Yup, my mother was some woman.  We were always on the move month after month and house after house before the neighbors could suspect it was us robbing them. We were always together no matter what, and I wasn't afraid to ask her anything.  Of course, there came a  time  as a child where I asked her "Mom, where did I come from?"  

Story goes that one night my mother decided to hit the biggest house in her old neighborhood.  She said that it was the best heist that she ever pulled off.  Jewelry, nice silverware, beautiful dresses, money, car keys, and perfumes were all at her grasp, and one by one she took them while the neighbors were still in the house sound asleep.  She said that right as she was about to leave the house, she noticed that there was one room that she almost forgot about.  The door was half open with the lights still on, and as she walked in she saw-and I quote- the "most beautiful, gorgeous looking gem that thieves only dream of gettin' their hands on."  That gem happened to be me of course.  

She lifted me out of my crib and said that I looked at her straight in the eye and winked right at her.  At that very moment, she felt it in her heart to take me home.  She said that right as she was about to exit the room she turned off the lights, and I instantly started crying.  It was at that moment that she realized that I was afraid of the dark and decided to name me Bear for my roaring cry that nearly got her caught. 

 Mom was a very lonely woman, and I can understand why she stole me. She had no one to experience life with and no one to love. She treated me as her own and taught me her ways. She even helped me overcome my fear of the dark by sleeping by my side every night. Even after I overcame my fear she still liked to sneak into my bed in the middle of the night. I grew up seeing a glow in her eyes that blocked out the darkness, and it never seemed to fade away when we were together.