Sincerely, Temptation

An Incantation of Evil

Then there was the moment from the other day in which I lost my cool and practically chocked out the only person in the world whom actually cares for me. I couldn't live with myself if something had happened to her. I could've snapped her neck!

I beat myself up over all the what-ifs.

I beat myself up over the pain which, realistically, I bring to myself.

Of course it's my fault! Everything is! I deserve all of it! Welcome to my silly life. And by silly, by all means, I mean absolutely hell-ridden piece of shit. I'm disgustingly imperfect. Fantastically flawed.

There's a motto I live by.

If you're not going to get anything, if you're not going to be happy, give. Give others what you don't have, make sure in hell they don't feel the same way.

And by 'them' and 'they' I mean the people I care about.

Not the arrogant, self-centered twisted motherfuckers I have to put up with every day.

I guess you could say it's best to remain on my good side. Obviously the general population wouldn't know that though. But I know.

Doesn't mean it makes any difference.

Sometimes you feel alone, right?

Like no one could possibly understand you, right?

Or maybe it's the opposite.

Maybe, however unlikely it is, you're perfectly contempt with your perfect life.

If that's the case, then listen to this.

This world that you live in, it's full of monsters.

Don't think, even for a moment, that you are safe.

The monsters are all around you. Waiting for the perfect moment to suck all the happy and all the perfection and all the sanity from your little life.

Once they have you, they will take everything.

They will strip you of everything that once gave your life meaning.

Unlike the woman who stood over your crib and gave you precious life, they will tower over you, trap you, and give you despair.

These monsters, these takers of heaven bound souls, are not me. They are sins. Bait. Fake dreams. Temptation.

And all the people whom live by them and solely them, they feed from them.

The provider? You'll have to figure that one out for yourself. It's not rocket science.

I met one of these people myself. And, like I promised, he did the exact same to me.

What I failed to mention earlier is that this guy whom I fell for was also the guy who crushed me and my hopes and expectations.

He gave me a new way to feel pain.

His name? Alexander. Or, as his friends know him, Alex. You see, Alex was the perfect guy. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect SMELL. And, of course, it all came down when the perfect guy asked me out.

I guess there really is no such think as perfect. It was perfect. Too perfect. I thought I had finally discovered that thing they talk about in the movies. The thing that makes life worth living. The only magical thing left in the world. But fate proved me wrong.

I catch wind of the rumors.

Apparently, Alex had been sending obnoxious texts to my best friend. When I investigated, it seemed to me like Hayden had gone out of her way to memorize his number and proceed to send him a number of suggestive texts.

I got into a major argument with her and even made an attempt to sock her in the face. Thankfully, I hadn't yet gained my monstrous side. So I missed. And she decks me across the cheek. Drama, drama, and more drama.

Then I find out that my read-headed weirdo had done absolutely nothing wrong. It's what happens when rumors are anything but taken lightly. But it wasn't before Alex left me in a long, lonely summer without him nor my best friend. And it also wasn't before I made damn sure I would never find love.

He told me he loved me. He promised me so many things. What do you think happens when something goes from being so happy to a drastic dip in despair? It's not good.

Me and Hayden made up when it dawned upon us that neither of us could live without the other. And, of course, when I decided it was safe for us to be friends again.

Anyway, that was all over a year ago. 15 months, to be exact. I haven't seen Alex since. In fact, I've grown to hate him. Of course, that was after I had missed him desperately.

What reason do I to not doubt that I'll ever see him again?

My dreams tell me otherwise. My dreams tell me that I cannot escape him.

♥_________________________________________♡

A/N

I posted it even though it's unfinished. With school just 4 days away, there's been a lot going on for me and unfortunately have not been able to update frequently. But believe me, I am sure as hell not about to give up on this story. I will bring the next update in about a week. So, stick around.! -Mothflight

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