Finding My Way

Prologue

My alarm goes off. Without opening my eyes, I reach over and turn it off. I don't want to wake up. It's the first day of my senior year, and I have no idea whether today is going to be great or complete and total hell. Probably the latter, judging by every day before this one. I roll out of bed. Here goes nothing. I pull on some white skinny jeans, a red v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of black ballet flats. After swiping on some mascara and pulling my long brown hair into a loose ponytail, I'm out the door. Thankfully, my dad hasn't woken up yet. As I'm getting into my car, my phone starts ringing.

"Hello?"

"Good morning!" My beautiful best friend, Audrey, trills through the phone. She is the happiest person I've ever met. "Ready for senior year?"

"Ha! As if."

"C'mon, it'll be great! Now are we riding to school together or what?"

"Yeah, I'll be there soon."

"Cool. Love ya!"

"Love you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I pull up to Audrey's house, she's on the front porch waiting for me. Her long hair falls over her slim shoulders. I love how it's a natural ombre, going from light brown at the roots to a bright blonde color at the ends. She is wearing ripped skinny jeans and combat boots, along with a white tank top. As she walks toward the car, she ties a red plaid shirt around her waist. She hops into the passenger seat, positive vibes radiating off of her. She's a good person for me to be around, because it's really hard for me to be a happy person. I try, but I think it might already be too late.

"Can we listen to the classical station?"

"Not if I'm driving! I freaking love classical, but I'll fall asleep. How about something a little more energizing?" 

I hand her my phone. Less than a minute later, Skillet's "Whispers in the Dark" is blasting through my speakers. She giggles and starts dancing to the song. I laugh out loud and sing along with her. She is the one person who can put me in a good mood. Maybe today will be a good day. The depressing, nagging little voice in the back of my head is smaller in my happiness but still very much present. And it's not letting me off the hook that easily.

Ha! You may think that you're happy now, but wait until you get home. We both know--

No. I can't think like that. I shake it off and try to live in the moment, singing and dancing and being goofy with my best friend. But that negative little voice is still there, waiting for an opportunity to remind me how shitty my life is. Don't worry, I tell it. That opportunity will come soon enough, I'm sure.