What a pretty girl you see on the outside and the inside. This is how a pretty girl stays alive by a simply promise, the promise of a pretty girl will always be kept. An 18-year-old has to put up all of these walls to protective herself. Sound of tears inside but outside it doesn't show. Sad when the little girl has to make promises to keep herself, to keep herself together. The promise grow every time she disappointed and/or hurt.
"I Promise "
* NO DRINKING
* NO lYING TO YOURSELF
* REMEMBER WHERE YOU COME FROM
* SCHOOL IS FIRST
* IF YOU DON'T GET IN YOUR COLLEGE GO TO THE NAVY
* NO LOVE
* NO TEARS
* FORGIVE BUT DON'T FORGET
* BE YOURSELF
* LET NO ONE CHANGE YOU
* TRUST YOURSELF
* BE "bullet proof"
There no place for none of that in her life she builds up a brick wall up. The wall been there for a while, she thought she could push way the people who she cared for and there would be none to hurt her. Nothing seem to work, it felt like everyone was shooting her down. Nobody sees her for her, they see her but only what they want to see. So she doesn't let them in and don't let them see who she really is. She believed that none understood her pain, that she did not need to change for other people.
She writes and draws, music is her life, in her book of secret she tells her feeling freely telling her story.
Amar la muerte
"Worker's go to work, sinner's went to sin, they all wake up as man." I don't understand why people kill when there is no need, when all you have to do is ask a Q or a question. But you hurt other people and you don't know your action before you do something. Your family supposed to teach you that before you get grown. Remember there are more people out in this world connected then you know so when you pull a gun out think of who you are hurting It may just be a little kid stand at the door waiting for someone to open it.
The sun hit her house, the summer sun came out one day the wind was blowing in a scares scream sound came from outside. Then followed was a 45 acp shoot, shoot twice. It was close her grandmother's house, she run out the door stop and look at her best-friend falling to the ground. She run to him catch his head. While the man with the 45 ACP stands there and look at her run to her best friend he is saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just wanted weed" She lays there on her friend "Popeye's" she called out "Leave, can't you see there is nothing here, go, just go!!! Stop saying sorry your sorry can't fix anything now." As the tears fall from her face, she screaming "help" and everyone is just standing around her, one person call the cops Ms. Ida. As the cops are coming late on the scene, his heart beats got slower until it was just didn't no more. She laid her head on his chest and tried to hear the beat of his heart, but she couldn't hear anything.
He bleeding in street, she said "It Far from fair" she looks in his eyes when then turned around and look back, at the man whiling he was running. She lay on his chest, until some picked her up "I will never leave you" that was the promise they made to each other. She would never leave his side then a family member came along and picked her up and took her in the house to get wash off.
She went mute for a while, she felt if their no one there who do I need to talk to. Her answer was "no one."
As the cops arrived she runs back out and laid on him, and scream "DON'T TAKE HIM PLEASE, I don't have no one else" Pops turns to her and said "you got me, you will always have me." She said "Promise me" he said "I promise you are our soldier; I'm not going nowhere. But promise me you will believe in yourself" she said "I promise" as he wipes her face picking her up "where you sister?" she said "she in the house sleep, don't tell her please." He said "ok but tells going the house and try and relax" she jumped down out of his arms onto the street. She ran and kiss her best-friend and said "see you later, remember it never bye." She walks back to Pops as she almost in the house she looks back and waved her hand, and a tears falls down her face, because she knows for a long time she will not see him....
The pain of that man shoot that gun saw in her eyes could not be filled with I'm sorry or a hug or a kiss. She didn't know what to do next, all she can think of is him running away. Smile throw her pain so she put a smile on her face. Pain she knew there was more than that come to her, in her life she faced it by herself and with a smile.
Even when everywhere she turned she feel pain and just didn't cry she just sat in her corner. Pops was a man who keep to his word, she saw him everyday but one day it seemed different and dark but she had no fear. Pops last words to her on that summer morning day Is" Better then what they are,You be a solider no matter what happens in your life aim to be great and your heart is pure gold so follow you heart then your mind no matter what".She looked at him with eyes full of tears and said "ok, I thought you wasn't leaving me". He did not answer her , he just whip her face and said "I have to take care of some stuff, so I have to leave at two a clock ". As it hits two the ice-cream trunk comes around she said "can I have Ice-cream?" he says tomorrow you can have ice-cream and pasta with some seafood". Her face lights up to her favorite food and ad ready for it to be Saturday, she said "ok I will be waiting". As she walks in the house jubilant for Saturday, There was still a weird feeling that was around her and she still had no fear. The next day came and she was waiting and waiting until the moon came up, she just cried she needed no hugs, needed no piddly. She smiled to the Sunday moon ,she new rite then and there she wouldn't see him for a long time. He promised her, her favorite foods and she got them Sunday and didn't touch nothing give it to her sister and grandma she went to bed. Later that week she saw the news paper after she went for a run and saw Pops in the news paper. As her grandma speaks to her she falls to the floor in the worst pain she could ever feel. There was war going on inside side her heart and it shatter into pieces in less then a minute. Her grandma said " think of him the same as you been and nothing less until you talk to him". The girl couldn't help but go back out side for a run, and come back in a and sit in her window corner wishing she knew why.
