I threw away those months like garbage you find that's molded and gross. In a split second my mind seemed like it turned off. I gave up on myself when I promised myself I wouldn't. It's just one of my many broken promises. "I'll help you" I did what you said but yet I am doing this by myself all I needed was you. "I'll never leave you"... " I can't wait till I'm old enough to get out of here" your leaving me just when I started to get attached. You where told 4 times I wasn't stable. What did you do..? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. All I wanted was someone to hold me. Someone to tell me it was going to be alright. All you did was leave me hanging and assumed that I was going to be okay. Well I'm not. I'm sitting it here by myself once again trying to tell myself that I can get back up on my feet one more time and stay there. I'm trying to tell myself that I won't go into the new year like this. But it's already too late. I'm sitting here wondering where the year went. The year where I thought I was finally be happy. But I'm sitting here wondering and thinking about all of the mistakes and broken promises that have happened this year... I just wish that I had someone who was really truly there. Who wouldn't abandon me. Because I can't fight this fight all by myself. I've tried that and it isn't working. I told myself I wouldn't give up...and then I did.
