Addiction

-- 12 -- But This Time I Believed Him --

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After we got back and he got changed, we turned on NHL network to watch the late night game. I couldn't tell you the score though, I was too preoccupied with my head nuzzled in his chest and almost falling asleep as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Why'd you leave on Saturday?" he asked, turning the TV down.

"You told me you loved me," I replied, my eyes still closed.

"Why? Was that bad?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied as a matter of factly.

"Why would it be a bad thing Liv?" he asked, a perplexed look on his face.

"Because it's a giant fucking lie," I replied.

"Come on Liv," he sighed.

"No Liam, you come on," I snapped, sitting up next to him, "You don't love me, you love the idea of me. You love the things that you do with me, you love that I'll drop everything and come over in the middle of the night so you can get some even when your girlfriend is pissed at you or isn't around. You don't love me Liam, we both know that deep down inside. If you loved me you wouldn't have gotten back together with Lila and we never would've had to sneak around and you wouldn't still be sleeping with her if you loved me."

"Liv, I-" he began to say.

"No," I replied, "You don't get to lie to me Liam, I know better. You think you love me and, hell, you might if you could grow the fuck up and break up with her but you can't sit here right now and tell me you love me while you let everyone else call me a whore for sleeping with someone else's boyfriend."

"I'm not lying Liv. I swear on my life that I love you," he retorted.

"Then it's her or me," I choked, trying to hold back the tears that wanted so badly to escape my eyes, "It should be a pretty easy choice for you if you really love me."

"Olivia-" he began to say.

"I'm not done," I replied, "I want you to know how much shit I've been getting. Mandy Whited told me a week ago that I'm just a shitty booty call, that you stick with me because I'll hook-up with you whenever and wherever but Lila's down for anything so you stay with her. Alyssa Marks told me you just want me for my body. Do you know how shitty that made me feel? No, you don't. Kallie Marsh told Nikki that she can't believe that Nikki's still friends with me. I'm that girl, that girl that the cheater is cheating with. Half of her team has been harassing me on Twitter, DM'ing me about how I'm nothing but a whore who fucks other people's boyfriends and that I'm a man stealing whore. Who am I to argue with that? I can't argue with that Liam! I'm fucking someone else's boyfriend! But I keep coming over, I keep coming to your games and waiting for you afterwards. I keep waiting for you to come around but you haven't yet and I'm starting to lose hope. I'm giving you a choice Liam, but I want you to pick me because I have stuck around even after all the shit and names I've been called. I'm giving you a choice Liam and if you really love me it should be an easy one."

"I-I had no idea," he said, suddenly at a loss for words.

"So who is it Liam?" I asked, tears in my eyes, "Me or her?"
"You," he said quickly, "It's you, it's you, it's you, I'll say it again and again until you believe me."

"Then why have I spent the last month as the girl you're sneaking around with and fucking when nobody's looking?" I asked.

"Because I didn't think you wanted a relationship," he replied, "I thought this was what you wanted but then I started to love you, and oh my gosh Liv I fell in love so fast and so hard, I don't know what's wrong with me."