So You Used to Be Human - Book 3 (Original Version)

Chapter 36: Nineteen Minutes

"I don't want to get dead doing it."

"Remember how it felt in the diner before Dude gave us those garlic pills or whatever? Remember that feeling of losing yourself and wanting to do anything for the Master—"

Chris shuddered and caught himself in the act of turning back to face the diner. He snapped himself out of it and focused on Paul.

"That in there is pure evil and we can't run away and hide from it. But we can help Dude... and we get to put it up on YouTube so the world can see what's really happening."

Chris thought for a second and then committed himself to the insanity, heart, body and channel.

"Fine," he said, and put out his hand. "But I get to be the one planting the grenades."

***

Fifteen Minutes.

Chastity had promised that she wouldn't use her fangs on him, but in her excitement, Claude had already had to yell a couple of times as he clearly felt her fangs spring out, dangerously close to impaling him. All in all it was the oddest and most dangerous blowjob he had ever had.

"Fangs! Watch the fangs!" He'd yelled, and was thankful when Chastity released him from her mouth and stood up, licking her lips. She was a tall blonde vampire, a complete knock-out, definitely one of the prep-school trust-fund kids that I personally detested so much. Her blonde curly hair bounced off her shoulders, but not as bouncy as her firm, perfect breasts, the nipples poking through her very thin and expensive blouse. Up until the teeth, she had been a very aggressive and experienced blowjob queen.

"Do we really have to do this?" Claude all but yelled. "And more importantly, do you have to watch?"

This of course was to Hester who had followed them into the bathroom, part of the very bizarre deal of letting the ten human customers leave. Hester had been drifting off into long silences and Claude could see his sanity and grasp on reality slipping as entropy threatened to creep up. Hester had jerked himself out of a long stare and had smiled warmly at Claude.

"Yes of course. They may leave. I have no use of them," he had waved dismissively and had caught the eye of Chastity as Claude moved quickly from table to table telling the humans to get the hell out of the diner now. He had nodded to Chris and Paul and quickly returned to Hester's table. Hester had locked eyes with Chastity and was checking her out very intensely and didn't even glance towards Claude.

"Okay that's the last of them. Thanks for letting them leave, but you know how soft and squishy we humans are."

"Oh is that what I had agreed to? I must apologize. I had been meaning to tell you to go fuck yourself. That is how you say it, yes-no? The words do not come easily to me."

Hester beckoned to Chastity with one extremely gnarly finger. If physics had been in league with Hester, she would have glided over to them as if pulled by an invisible rope.

"It amuses me to hear the word 'human' come from your lips," Hester said as he inspected the woman in front of him. She looked at Claude and bit her lip, totally giving him the fuck-me eyes.

"You're waiting for me to ask you why, even if I know the answer, aren't you?"

"Vampire is the name your kind came up with for us. We used to call ourselves 'the people' or 'human'. Not those actual words of course since I don't speak your tongue, but you should know the meaning of my words."

This is something you see in almost every science-fiction movie, or any movie where alien races come in touch with humans. Some writers got wise to it and stared referring to humans as "Terrans" but the real standout was that the aliens they met always referred to themselves as whatever names the humans had given them. When you really think about it, that makes zero sense, since any race of people will always refer to themselves in their own language and the word for themselves will always be "the people" or loosely translated as "human". The ego of the species as a whole makes assholes of us all.