"Well, I'm awake now," Mat whispered to himself as he squinted and tilted his head away from the window at the back of the van to avoid the blinding ray of light that seemed to only make its way into his eyes.
Brian just layed there, fast asleep. It took Mat a second to realise how entangled their bodies were: their legs crossed over each other's, Brian's arms on Mat's left shoulder and waist (almost like they were slow-dancing, which entertained Mat), foreheads almost touching. How did this happen? This doesn't seem like something just platonic friends do. Mat wanted this to feel wrong because of that but it didn't, nothing felt more natural and right than seeing and feeling Brian this close to him and he wanted it to last forever... he wanted to be holding Brian forever and that kind of scared him. But nothing scared him more than the fact that this feeling was familiar, he'd felt this about Brian before, he knew it... he just possibly didn't realise those feelings at the time but now they were obvious and unavoidable.
Brian had never looked more beautiful to him than in this moment, that ray of light that woke Mat up passing through his soft curls, his eyelashes so long and delicate. Mat wanted to look away but he was mesmerised, his heart felt like it was going to explode. As the time just passed he kept staring and he just wanted to... do something. Kiss him? God, maybe. There had been times where he'd seen Brian kiss guys and, well, he seemed to enjoy it. It was just them in the van it seemed, they could get away with it. But did Brian feel the same way? Mat didn't want to ruin their friendship or even just wake him up. He looked so peaceful there... Suddenly, he heard the taller man take a deep breath and shuffle slightly.
"Hmm," Brian let out as his eyes opened, then he saw how close Mat was to him. "Wow, okay. Hi ther-"
A kiss cut him off. His right hand moved from Mat's shoulder and cupped his face. This was... a surprise, but a nice one. What a thing to wake up to. Mat started to pull away, his mouth retreating but his forehead still touching his friend's. Slow breaths, steady hands, closed eyes.
"Sorry," suddenly, he sprung up, turning his head away from Brian.
"What the hell, man?"
"I know, that was stup-"
"No, I mean why did you stop? I... liked that. It was a bit of a shock first thing in the morning and our breaths aren't exactly the best right now but it was good."
'Oh, my god', Mat thought, 'he liked it, does that mean something else is gonna happen? Or is this just like with other guys where he just thought it was fun? Did he just think it was fun with them? Oh, god, I'm in love with him... fuck, I kind of always was.' Brian just looked at him. 'Why isn't he saying anything? Why am I not saying anything?'.
"I liked it, Mat. I like you. God, I thought it was obvious but you never seemed to realise." Brian smiled slightly, the right side of his mouth pulling up subconsciously. "It's obvious to me that you like me."
"H-how?" Mat stuttered out, his cheeks turning slightly red.
"Dude, you have a tattoo of my face... on your heart. I always tried to get your attention, made it clear I like guys. You never got it, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship if you reacted badly so I never explicitly said it, but I thought it was pretty blatant."
"God, I am stupid. Dude, I never even got that I liked you."
"Fuck, man, why are we even talking right now?"
Brian picked himself up off of the mattress they put in the back of the van and knelt in front of Mat, trying not to hit his head on the roof. The younger man's hands were in his hair, pulling it away from his face, then Brian slowly grasped them and lowered them down, it almost looked like they were getting married the way they were posed. Staring into Mat's big, brown eyes, Brian leaned in and kissed him; only a small, short kiss. They looked like middle schoolers in their first relationship, a small peck, hand-holding. It was so sweet and innocent. With immense pressure in his chest, Brian looked down. He felt like his love for Mat was going to escape his through his ribcage, it was so intense. In that moment, his deep affection filled up every space in his body, it was all he could feel. He remembered those times in actual middle school where he and Mat would hang out, looking back at that he didn't think he'd get to here... finally.
"Fuck, I fucking love you," erupted from Mat.
With his hand grasping the hairs on the back of Brian's head, he pulled him in close giving him a not-so-innocent kiss. This was passionate, this was all-consuming, this was everything Brian needed. He wanted so desperately for Mat to take control, not only tell him but show him his feelings. Finally. It's bliss.
