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Halsey was asleep, her pink mouth parted slightly, her hair messy and shaped like an angel's halo around her head, her cheeks tinted red from the heat, her bare face on full show — her light freckles spread upon her face, and she was absolutely breathtaking.
Brian sighed heavily, placing his head in his hands as he realised he had to stop this. He had to. He couldn't handle the fact that he was lying to her, no doubt about to break her heart, and he hated himself for doing this to her and her family. He hated himself because he had let himself fall in love, fall in love while undercover and her thinking she was someone he wasn't; god, he hated everything.
Why had he let this happen? Why had he allowed himself to actually trust these people? Dominic Torretto was a criminal, he had spent years in prison, but he had done it all because of his family — family came first. Always.
Family. Brian shook his head, a family was something he barely had, his mother didn't speak to him and his father had never been in his life. Was that why he was so attracted to the Torreto's crew? He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think about his job, and he didn't want to think about how much he had screwed up. Fuck, he had screwed up bad.
"Bri?" It was like hearing an angel's voice, and he realised it was an angel speaking; Halsey Marie Torreto. She stretched sitting up, her simple tank top rising up and showing a bit of her tanned stomach, almost flawless except from the white scar that sat on her right side like a tattoo. He swallowed, meeting her blue eyes which blinked up at him, so oblivious to everything that was going on in his head. "Bri? You alright?"
"Yeah," he nodded, looking away from her quickly before she could worry anymore, he couldn't let her in. She was the enemy; all of this was for work and nothing more, Brian. "Yeah, I'm good. Did you sleep well?"
The blonde haired man stood from the bed, busying himself with cleaning around the room. He picked up his shirt from the night before, and he closed his eyes at the memory. Fuck. She was the enemy. She was the enemy.
Halsey narrowed her eyes. "Uh, yeah I slept fine. Look Brian, if you're feeling uncomfortable from what happened last night, then I can just leave. I get it if you regret it." She bit her lip, not willing to let the sadness and betrayal show. She was strong, she had to be. But why did it hurt so much to know that he didn't want her anymore?
"Fuck, Hals." The man turned, vibrant blue eyes looking at her in disbelief. She glanced up at him, watching as he stepped a little closer to her. "No, no. You got it wrong, I don't regret anything what happened last night, okay? And I hope you don't, because well, I liked it. A lot. But I just —"
He stopped. She was the enemy. He couldn't let her in more than he had already done. He closed his eyes. Fuck was right.
"Brian?" Halsey stepped closer, staring up at him with her big, blue eyes and make-up free face and that concerned look in her eyes. "What's going on? You can talk to me, y'know. I told you everything last night; you can trust me to do the same. Just please don't hide from me now."
His throat was suddenly dry. His lips felt chapped. His stomach felt empty. He couldn't lie no more.
"I'm sorry, Hals," he whispered. "I screwed up bad. And now everything is so screwed up and I hate myself for it. I'm sorry."
"What are you talking about, Bri?" She was just as quiet as him now, feeling like if she spoke too loud he would crack and disappear. She hated this, she just wanted him. She wanted him happy and to be hers, she didn't want secrets and lies and a sad Brian. Was it possible for a persons feelings to affect another's so much and so pure?
"I never had a family. My mom worked late and was never home. I had to learn how to cook my own dinner when I was eight, I had to earn my own money at eleven. We barely talked, I felt like I was never there; like if I just disappeared at any moment, she wouldn't even blink an eye."
He looked away. "My dad was never there, my mom never talked about him or told me where he was or who he was. You know, sometimes I blame him for making my mom like she was. So distant and shit. Maybe if she had the help she needed, maybe she could have been a mom, y'know?"
"That's no excuse," Halsey whispered. "She could have tried to be a family, she could have still been your mom."
Brian nodded, his eyes distant and his face cold. "I partied too much and drank like it was a job when I was fifteen, I was in a bad place and needed help. My friend, Roman, he helped me more than anyone. He was always there, he did his own shit, but he stopped me from doing mine. When I turned sixteen, I don't know — I witnessed things, I saw that I was doing was stupid and wrong, and I wanted to stop people from doing that too. So I worked hard, decided I wanted to become a cop. I guess that upset Roman since he was always on the other side of the law. I haven't seen him in years."
"You're — you're a cop?" Halsey choked out, moving away from the man quickly, but his hand grabbed hers, regret filling his eyes.
"I wanted to," he whispered. What was he doing? She was the enemy. "But I never did. I couldn't do it."
Halsey relaxed, her shoulders dropping as she stared at the man sat in front of her. "Fucking hell, you had me scared for a minute there, Bri." She chuckled nervously, and Brian smiled bitterly.
You have no idea, Hals.
"I'm sorry, Hals," he stood, smiling at her, though it did not reach his eyes. Halsey smiled softly as he walked closer, wrapping his arms around her body, pressing a soft kiss into her hair. She relaxed in his arms, burying her head in his hard chest, listening to the way his heart beat.
Brian sighed, holding her closer. Because in a few hours he would be at the Race Wars, and a few hours he would be arresting her brother, and in a few hours she would hate him and scream at him to leave her and never talk to her again. In a few hours, he would know this would be the last time he would hold her so closely.
So Brian kissed her, and she kissed him back, and his heart thumped in his chest; in a few hours, he would miss the feeling of her. But that was in a few hours, and this was now — and he was pretty damn sure he loved her.
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happy birthday paul walker, i hope the world up there is celebrating with you.
i haven't updated this in almost a year, but thanks to thunderrbirdhere i am, writing this. thank u for making me realise how much i missed writing for brialsey & this book, as my first and best book on here, im happy someone knocked some sense into me. also this chapter is in honour of paul's birthday, and the fact that ride out has officially reached 1k votes !! after a year, im so happy this fic actually got so many votes and views, and this whole chapter is dedicated to wonderful man that is paul walker; i hope he's resting in piece with the car gods.
