On the Other Side

21

Laila shook her head and Naomi didn't hesitate to help pull her friend up from the floor and move her to the large bed. "I think I'm just dehydrated - I haven't eaten since last night." she responded with a sigh as she eased herself underneath the warmth of the comforter.

Naomi disappeared then reappeared shortly after with a tall glass of orange juice and a straw.

"Your neighbour called me and they said you didn't look too well when she saw you." She pressed the back of her hand against Laila's forehead, eyeing her all over. "When you said that you threw up the other day, I didn't think anything of it but now... maybe it's a bug?"

"Whatever it is I need it gone as soon as possible. You know I threw up yesterday morning too?"

Naomi's hazel orbs suddenly zeroed in on her chest area. "Those look a bit bigger." Following the pointed stare, Laila laughed. "Laila," she rested a hand on top of hers, "when was your last period?"

At first she wanted to ask what that had to do with anything but then she stopped to really think about it. She was due to come on three weeks ago and still she was waiting for Aunt Flo to make her visit.

The implications of that made her eyes widen and her heart race. "No." She muttered as Naomi gripped her hand tighter. "No." Then her head started to shake. "There is no way that I'm-wh-pregnant? No way."

They stared at each other for a few minutes in stunned silence. This was serious. There was the potential that Laila was currently growing a baby inside her.

"It's not possible." She choked out as she mentally tried to grasp any idea that would confirm that she couldn't be pregnant.

"Do you and Hakeem use protection every time?"

"Of course!" Laila answered without hesitation before vivid memories of Hakeem ambushing her in her shower, in the kitchen and her own instigation in his car popped into her mind. Like a movie reel, they played out in her mind and each time, she didn't seem to remember a condom in the mix. "Sometimes."

Naomi bit her lip and stroked her friend's hand supportively as the thought sunk into her thoughts.

Like a sponge, Laila absorbed the idea and even after Naomi had left her home, she couldn't quite wrap her mind around it. She wanted to pick up the phone and tell her mother but she knew that Amina wouldn't be all too thrilled about the news knowing the financial status of the baby father.

Pacing the floor with the mobile phone in her hands, she pondered over the implications being pregnant brought. 

She would be a mother. She would have to care for another human being and be responsible for it and love it unconditionally. 

That part she didn't mind.

But then she thought to raising the child. Would they raise it in Eastland Ave or in her swanky apartment?

Would Hakeem want the child sent to a private school or public school? Because she obviously preferred the former.

Then there was the large fear that Hakeem wouldn't actually want the child. That idea was debilitating. 

Numbing.

Downright frightening. 

She couldn't do it on her own. No way could she balance a child and a career all on her own. She needed Hakeem but Hakeem also had his own priorities. He was having problems at the garage, paying for his mother's roof had set him back and in general, she knew he had so many other things to worry about that a baby would take a lot out of him... If he did want it.

Panic struck her heart and grabbed at her nerves, making her legs shake. She needed to lay down and digest everything.

A baby.

Laila had wanted one for so long that now that it was here, she didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to cry, she wanted to dance and she wanted to sit and just do nothing but stare into space and think.

Just to be alone with her overworking conscience.

Her conscience was the very same thing that reminded her that Hakeem would definitely want the baby. Of course he would. His character was so admirable that he would never leave her in any situation on her own and she had a feeling that he wanted kids anyway. Whether he wanted them with her was another question but she didn't spend too long on that. He wouldn't abandon her and leave her to struggle but Laila was beginning to wonder. 

What if he didn't even have to leave her for them to struggle with a baby?

The living arrangements and future school preferences were just the tip of the iceberg of the cruel reality of the fact that they were from two different sides of life. As parents, the ugly truth would likely rear its head on plenty of occasions through arguments and disputes. She didn't know if she was ready for that. Life was so much easier with someone who understood how you were raised and how you grew up. 

Yes, they were both raised in black households but it would be ignorant to forget the fact that social class plays a huge factor in upbringing also. Whilst sharing the same  black struggle, Laila's class and status would always fare her better than Hakeem. 

Her privileges growing up were what she aspired to give to her own children but it wasn't a given that Hakeem would understand that nor would she understand some of the values and ideals that he would want to instil into his kids.

Thinking about the whole situation made her nauseous and it didn't help when someone began to rap their knuckles on the door. 

Manoeuvring around an eager Holloway, she already knew who it was. Like clockwork, he showed up at her home at the same time on most evenings so she wasn't shocked when Hakeem was on the other side smiling at her when she opened the door. Her heart lurched then warmed at the sight of him in a pair of sweats and a matching sweater.

His smile faded quickly as he took in her expression and her features. "What's up?"

As his hand cupped her cheek and his deep brown eyes searched hers, she sighed, ready to let the news slip out of her mouth. But then she realised - her pregnancy wasn't even confirmed. There was a chance that this was all fantasy and that she wasn't pregnant.

That was why she chose her reply. At least, that was what she told herself when she answered: "I've got a stomach bug.